The image above in video form, was pulled from the series, "Laying Lies To Rest" that was a digital curated series created in 2018 once I returned to Atlanta from South Florida. This image itself was modified and published on June 21, 2018 from a shoot done back in July 8, 2011 that had imagery incorporated into "Beautiful Layered Lies" (My First Solo Art Show back in 2011). That series started with dream metaphor and the beginnings of “artspeak” with imagery not fully comprehending what it was being spoken or acted on on most sides but with understanding of big ideas since a child. Always an expansion as I look back over my childhood artwork in a binder of “Alice in Wonderland” concentration knowing it opens the door for A Divine Comedy and “Dear Aphrodite”. (I looked at my childhood work yesterday in an unexplored capacity with fondness of scores and humor in where those percentiles laid)
The series then (at first) was a beginning to psychology and a young life trying to reach for comprehension and an identity. Analyzed through the years and often revisited, “Laying Lies” was a turned back approach to the dreamworld and identity not so naïve as before in a different approach where memory of time transforms in meanings of remembrance and acknowledgement of growth (or lack there of) and experience.
I though of the word impression today as I went through many thoughts and approaches. It has a variant meaning of what it means to me is not necessarily what it means to you. I defer to what the internet provided knowing it is ever changing and the word impression has 2.830,000,000 impressions attached to it not fully aware of the impact of the word “impression”.
https://www.flickr.com/photos/pbonne20/52021378627
My impression not the same as the word impression. My name ATM knowing others are named Philip Bonneau is at 3.6 Million impressions. Could have been more with my tumblr impressions that were the basis of my introduction to marketing when I was first starting. Thousands there of people who noticed me that I may or may not have ever met. A history taken when someone deleted that. People talk legacy but when it comes to others constantly copyright attacking you, that was important and that was full of intent.
Names get out and I know the game. I’ve privately written about it and created artwork submitted knowing how people work in some areas. Never was a problem with me prior to 2018 and then suddenly there became a real life scenario that entered into areas of evasiveness that went well beyond trying to delete my entire existence from the internet not even really knowing me.
When starting any company you want to start with a promise and a brand message and go from there. What my message was is copywritten with How we treat each other. Always a placeholder but a clear understanding that I am team humanity, empathy and attempting to understand. When it comes to malicious attempts, I defer to others who have authority to handle that and simply wish for peace and a chance for happiness and a life.
History has it that from the Cradle of Civilization, that once name recognition enters the arena, things get very dicey on how to handle that. Ideas form around agriculture and stability of the home. That is always going to be the main message and again….home economics is essential globally (but I defer). A 3000 mile radius in the beginnings of civilization created a melting pot of ideals, cultures and ingenuity. Some for the better while others took advantage or said “Peace out…we are going elsewhere.”
I defer to 23 and me to say that we are all mixed in some aspect, but I defer back completely to name recognition. The price gets higher based on what you stand for, what you represent, what you talk about (preach?") and ultimately falls back on “Who are U?”
I was told “18 and on your own.” I’ve grown up in a structure of exploration and big world concepts where I’ve always done my own things from either being bullied or just occupying my time with sports, art and imagination. I’ve talked about putting myself through school with scholarships and hard work. I’ve touched slightly on the struggles of my mother. Family connections with my brother and Starving Artist paints the picture of a premature birth of someone who could not wait to publish that before I finished it and without my consent.
The Erasure has been real and the negative attacks noticed and documented since 2018. As I dreamt and built others have taken, tried to take, tried to save others, invaded physically and in other realms and I’ve protected at least a copywritten message of what happens to digital presence afterwards knowing that Golden Rulebook is 100% about humanity.
Those who have known me directly or indirectly have known that I’ve been a “self-starter” and do what I had to do to survive. As each image hit the internet it still goes back to dates, times and connections. 2 Facebook profiles removed where I own that privileged information and can never be taken over, we lose our identity as we grow from experience and mistakes had and lessons learned. As I started, even on Tumblr, it was amazing to acknowledge that working artists were influenced by my work in official capacities and the nods were had. (Cheers to Galactus and Magneto, silver spoon in hand) and amazing to be recognized by original members of Star Trek for my work after I stood nakedly with a sign for the internet asking to believe in me. I loved seeing things happen naturally through the years and even the family portraits from the island trailered a toilet series that became a discussion and amazing to unfold. It has been amazing who I have met naturally physically and not. We never know who we affect.
I’ve been deleted and I need to process that. I’ve been modified by others and I need to process that. I understand on other sites that being ok, but when it is your own personal realm it becomes a place of “I got your back” or “I got you.” Security not there most the time knowing I am being wiped out here and there from what I’ve done with trying to be an artist in photography sense since 2009, but also as a human since 1982.. I could look at things from a religious side on known history to know that it is psychological to wipe out others when control is either threatened or there is a grudge against one or the other. Never a grudge since 2018 with anything that I created, so I question 2019 in particular in what happened in that regard. Dreams built prior and questions beginning to ask and be formulated knowing I answered privately some of them and others vague cryptic answers testing the waters. (Especially since 2018),
When trying to get your name out there, it is best to watermark everything that you put out there. It is a sign of ownership, a sign to get things out there and a way to get things noticed. Never in the beginning or now do I ever put hi-res files on the internet. Most of my career, up until the last, every image of my work artistically has my signature on the right or left. The idea was always a better way of life and a chance to not struggle financially while making a difference. I know I made a difference and still love the fact that people who read my Ugly Simple Truth Blog that I never even knew in person said thank you for sharing that and it opened up a conversation for people to learn how to talk and get to know people. (That blog has now been deleted by someone and has been private for at least 2014-2015, with it also known attacked and talked about in 2018-2019)
I understand the idea of trying to delete me off the internet. When you leave an impression it has a lot to do with who you left an impression with. Some will like you; some will not. But you were noticed. I would be lying if I am not in pain knowing what cannot be replace and undone. I can’t have accounts reactivated and thousands(millions?) of impressions given back. I cannot go back through my social media wondering who the fuck tried to misspell something to make me look even more careless than what gets presented knowing I am actually pretty aware and consistent of perception and learned that back in 2010 in humility.
You don’t know the decisions made to get here…nor the choices. I don’t know yours either. All we can do is some regard is talk and in other areas know that other people are watching and making decisions one way or the other based on intention. At least my intention is always going to be pure in being wiped out by things stacked against me that I can’t fight alone and all I do is find common ground in every area I can knowing human value matters. History matters. Not everyone tells their story and not everyone given a chance to succeed with a nest egg.
My nest egg was broken. My families nest egg was broken knowing it is about my extended family and those I protect and against those who do harm or neglect. Surprisingly, “The Gay Super-Hero Guy” was never just The Gay Super-Hero Guy” and actually had more to say in life than sexuality and focused on actually the most influential aspects of at least English language while also branching into theology, psychology and archetypes that still warrants why I have been attacked personally since that point knowing maybe longer and just not active in the deletion of files and carelessness aspect. Individuality and acceptance known since my childhood story of “The Caterpillar” that I scanned and incorporated in my own private works at the SCAD library before I started classes and submitted for copyright, “Curated Jellyfish: A Paradise Lost.” That was impeded on and it never stopped. That was monumental what was written in that book and not unnoticed and others never paid for it or the rights.
My life has always been wrapped in my works, but was always about connection and bullying in the beginning knowing I was awkward or went through phases and criticism taught with age and experience. Always thought about how to stop things one way or another or at the very least say I am there and I understand if you like me or not. Middle school was amazing on the negative/positive re-enforcement aspect of it. I don’t rehash 2018-2019 knowing proactively others who do not know me formed their opinions in very liable company spaces and I was attacked in ways that goes against humanity and all I have left is the placeholder to say what you do and do not do in a workplace.
Things changed over the last 2 years. I’m aware that people crop. I am aware of screenshots and there is always a lesson to be taught there about ownership vs. recognition. One one side you want the share value and by doing so it gets your name out.
We all have to grow up eventually.
As parents become overworked and never the responsibility of teachers to raise children but only guide accordingly, it is important of what gets help back in discussion is disruptive to the psychological aspects of developments where one day we are going to have to learn the story of the birds and the bees one way or another and we also have to learn about resentment, anger or any emotion really and how to process that. Failure to learn that is going to lead to areas that are unhealthy, possibly unlawful and definitely not betterment for society knowing we all have to learn from somewhere.
I’ve been aware in my life what is charmin’.
I’ve been aware of how we treat each other in our own groups and how we treat others different.
I’ve known that since a child.
People will attack or talk about those who make it and then take no responsibility when they break it. I suppose that works for anyone who documents and who pushes things one way or the other. Who are the breakers of plausible deniability? As you think about yourself, are you thinking of others? If so, who are you discounting?
It has been a long road and was documented. I can speak of how amazing it was up until 2019 when apparently my Tumblr was deleted by someone or company. Blogger attacked since 2018 knowing the scientific aspect of that. Facebook, a foot down on Feb.15, 2022 when actively invaded for others interest knowing it is always going to be ironic that their interests came from my ideas. Even this week, my personal email known attacked leaving every single thing I submitted to copyright not in question, but should be validated and 100% litigated against knowing that was known since 2018-2019. But now in areas that is well beyond human dignity and what is fundamentally the right thing to do. Possible patents and a story of history that can never be challenged and never on social media. That is verifiable. That has happened. That is an @google on that question to help knowing I’ve publically @facebook and @twitter on known instances of modifications and additions to my personal story knowing this has been a painted story that needs to stop.
I am being erased. My history gone. My connections gone. Time honored traditions of influence erasing and putting things elsewhere. I’m to be the Starving Artist I talked about that was exploited along with so many other people. Faith on either side, but a climate change knowing that others have heard and others know even if it will possibly be for temporary as my history is never to be retrieved again in some regards and possibly illegal in others that I’ve never watched and might be considered revenge against me.
Start Here with Curated Jellyfish
Our stories are collected one way or another. I can never escape “Indentured Servitude” knowing my history from the past and what we are afforded as a platform. Those stories echo but I remember most my struggles in trying one way or another to make a difference knowing I did.
Knowing the constant invasion, I call out those who are doing it and saying if you wanted to appropriate me (which is a very loose term and not exactly artistic), you are going to have to kill me publicly and stop trying to bank on finding to get me on something. I am afforded peace of life and a chance at anything. Anything at this point is opportunistic, has been for years that has already been put in place and acted on and all you can do is either pull a trigger to my face publicly or get creative with how to off me to have conversations after the fact. We all have to grow up eventually and I’ve accepted that since 2018 this has been known, reported and all you did was monopolize on it with the possibility of just going after my family afterwards to ward things off.
It escalated in my artistic and life experience and we definitely deal now with 3 Sphinx Riddles answers on top of the psychological aspect of A Divine Comedy with all the Modern Heroes+Villains involved that I’ve either tackled or yet to work with. What part of copyright and willful intention do you want to deal with in the grown up realm of wiping away existence of someone’s life thinking a company can do that to anyone or if that was political, what right do you have?
I handwrite knowing recorded keystrokes and try to contain my thoughts where I can. I’ve fought and rationalized where I can and did that with “Curated” only for that to be impeded on and proof to never write anything on a keyboard that I don’t realize to some extent is being read somewhere. “The pen is mightier than the keyboard.” as written prior. I’ve been forced in solitude and a fortress invaded knowing how dare you attack a private site knowing that is a violation of any site on the internet. How dare you record my keystrokes knowing that there may be money there. How dare you steal my dreams and repurpose them as your own. With those dreams came my nightmares and also adult conversations.
Why delete me from the internet? That is a question outside of the obvious attempt of ownership and jumping on wagons on this trail.
I tell myself, “An Average Man travelling the Tigris and Euphrates with a Heart.” My private messages, my photos, my email all go in that direction without revealing everything but yes…all 3 and yes…unexpected and regardless of any orientation it was attempted to be stolen along with everything else along with everything that I do that pushes humanity in the right direction while others made poor business choices and not knowing what to do.
I look at my life and I know my struggle and I know there is connection. https://www.philipbonneau.com/starvingartist explains allot knowing it was never finished and I never touched it on the literary side since someone else published it as a possible way to create liability towards me. It is a shame watching someone struggle knowing it could be “easily” fixed based on motive and intention one way or another.
I think of my life and I like the fact that I never want to be called “White”. I grew up understanding race early and when I shifted from public to private back to public school I saw it on either side. It has grown derogatory in some areas and it brings shame to me knowing neither side of my ancestral was present during USA slavery and actually we come from poverty overseas and trying to make it.
I think of the moral aspect of being a part of Alfred Angelo and I’ve written about the exploitation and abuse I went through in my search for dreams. I know most will not understand or care, but I was and will be never financially responsible for anything related to Alfred Angelo and my candor was most than what others gave to point you in the right directions towards others.
Perhaps I’ve been waving a flag my entire life on how we treat people and always was and have been a bridge to other races, nationalities, religions or economic statuses. I love conversations but have been attacked every way possible for years now knowing that it has been an advantage for some and disillusionment to others when that gets answered. I practice the Golden Rule and Rulebook.
As my life gets deleted and other validate it, just know if even if you see this and it gets forgotten…I existed and I tried to create a safe space while mine was constantly invaded, ripped apart and years of opportunity to try to push things against me.
Privilege of advantage is colorless…so are dreams.
My dreams have been willfully deleted and my contributions to society either protected, known or flat out stolen.
All I have left is knowing that it has always been an add on and pay it forward but when you deal in the topics I have, that stolen aspect is going to last longer than any of us.
I existed. U exist. We exist.
https://www.flickr.com/photos/pbonne20/52022651620
Written a year ago. The things we hide in the “Only Me” categories and what we handwrite. Privacy is always intimacy with someone one way or another. What right do others have to just take because they can? What artist would ever just delete a presence if not for taking over ownership?
9 stages of thought here. I’ve accepted that this is reality and this was allowed by others.
On my own personal website that I pay for, this fort remains for a bit longer knowing I do not modify my blog posts and someone has been erasing me from the internet and a chance to work to Nothing.