“Starving Artist”: A series of “foodsploitation” that originated from experience of unemployment and wage-gap issues.
Early in the stages of development, the series leaves room for growth in the initial environments of work with what you have to put food on the table and survive from there.

ABOUT ME AND HOW WE CAME ABOUT WITH STARVING ARTIST

An intimate discussion knowing we are privileged to have met anyone and learn their story. I’ve envisioned this series to be extensive in expression beyond my own. Exploited beyond belief, I own the words and images on this site knowing the idea is mine to grow upon and morality will always fall on when exploitations stops.

2. Add Your Stock To Work In

During my first job I would do what I had to make ends meet when bills compounded outside my bi-weekly pay capabilities. I think I’ve learned the lesson instantly on “name your salary” and it was corrected early on once cost of living was factored in. There is the internet now to gauge better but always defer to what companies offer you in range. Mostly overtime when available at first and would then venture out where I could to sustain. Credit Cards only go so far and never should be a means to stabilize ( try to keep your balances around 30% or less to retain a great score).

I was able to purchase my first brand new car for my birthday in 2007. A Nissan Rogue in October from their first line of the model. Around $30,000 financed. I had never had a new car before and it was exciting to have something of great value that I could finally call my own as I never could have afforded a home at the time and rented and built my credit as I could where I could.

<Stock Market Crash the following month in November>

A devastating time for everyone. Massive job loss. Collapse. Stability Needed. I find the irony that if I had just waited one month to purchase my car for my birthday that I could of gotten it $10,000 cheaper and receive a free Versa as well. Companies scrambled and families tightened up left and right. I was fortunate to work for a company where it was treated like family and there was zero lay-offs during the crash. The owner at the time even mortgaged her own home so that we could all still put food on the tables. A “Buckle Up” moment that really defined my perception of a boss and mentor, but also a taste of severity to what was going on around elsewhere. So many stories could be shared from others around that time professionally and personally. Our stories at that place of employment was saved by being Minority/Woman-Owned up until 2014 when it was transferred over to being employee-owned based on the number of years of employmenyt ranging from 0, my 8, to almost 30 years of people working together and knowing each other longer than that. It was a company built on childhood friends and life-time family formed from a workshop. Not all companies are like that. I love that my boss was heavily proud of her family and sponsored many people’s immigration visas and outside interests. She was fascinating to get to know as she looked up most of all to SCAD alumni in the hiring process. She taught me shadowing and was always nostalgic to share stories of freehand and lightboxes.

As we all tightened up and found ways to survive so did other companies. Financially, Credit Card companies lowered balance limits or cut-off cards completely at no-fault from the consumer. Although a minor blow to myself in variable income, I can imagine the crushing blow that did for people with liabilities who had to get further creative to survive (if at all). Credit Scores for everyone then on became skewed and detrimental on paper after that which takes either years or not at all to come back from when interest was always important at the time. (Laws have since changed on that to stop the predatory aspect that was occurring.)

3. Experiment With Other Ingredients A Pinch At A Time

PRO TIP: BEFORE MAKING YOUR OWN

Above is the same image of mine on 2 sites owned by the same company. On Getty it is up to $375 dollars to purchase the rights of usage. Despite contrary belief, you do not own these images after download unless you arrange to buy them exclusively which is very costly. A single stock image on any site can be hundreds or thousands in revenue for both the company and the artist. iStock, where the above image was originally contributed, is $33 dollars to download individually or 99 cents if bundling with 10 images ($9.90 total). Why anyone would buy a single image anymore is beyond my comprehension. An image of mine for $375 dollars (where I may get $10-50 dollars of that) on one site vs. on the other site where it could be purchased at a value that absolutely kicks out the artist at 99 cents is mind-blowing from a contributor standpoint and from a consumer. There are other “partner sites” where it is probably even cheaper for other images. Same rules always apply though, you are buying the rights to use, not the image. When no money is coming in for the artist then rights start to get very protective.

It is always high regard to be featured on Getty Images. They were the original Stock Producers before iStock came in and approached it from a community-building standard. Both sites are now owned by Getty Images, so I am PSA’ing that there is a cost paid on either side of the coin in the world of stock. “A Flooded Market of Rights” where if companies take for granted the contribution of starving artists then there is always going to be a morality lesson of the fast-paced world of instant gratification and deadlines.

We are all trying to save money so thought I would help out companies knowing this image has been used since 2010. Always cheaper options out there apparently, but cheaper isn’t always the way to go. Ironically not so much when it is the exact same product housed by the same company. How you use the image falls into play with transformative factors involved but also if put on packaging and other places. It is always about promotion of brand with my own being one of fighting to survive and collecting pennies.

Do not ever use watermarked stock images in your advertising. Pay for them in any capacity. One can never fault the consumer for finding something cheaper elsewhere, but it begs the question of “Why is all this work so cheap?” The cost of using unpaid stock images is not worth it for anyone. If you never paid for them in any capacity and use them for advertising, you are liable for keeping food off the table of an unknown artist. (Full disclosure on myself using stock watermark images on this page vs. other companies do it. I am the artist of these images and there is no grey area there. I accept the loss of a couple dollars or cents that I could have made, but I am also protecting my stock assets which could possibly be pulled from other sites and reused without paying for them. I do not advise that method but it is always good to be thankful that there are millions of starving artists out there contributing to your need ASAP Powerpoint/Keynote Presentation. Maybe they are on your staff. Who knows? Visual art is a world that times and precision. An artist’s life is the basis visual of any company. Be kind to artists and they are kind to you. I wonder on the litigation side if the stock company ever contacts the artist on those cases. Surely they had been more damaged than the company. More on this later.

I was successful in my funding and “Heroes + Villains #3”. It was allowed to happen from strangers and community support. Corporate sponsors of Svedka and Tito’s for my shows as well as my own place of employment with coverage nationally and locally from previous shows to this one. Even the food was catered and cross promoted with ID Lab being the host of it. A major start in a short amount of time. The most amazing aspect of the opening was seeing children show up at the opening and not judging anyone…only seeing their heroes and familiarity and being amazed. Over 200 people came to the opening that came from donated support and artist contributions with live performances and music. The Atlanta community hosted support for this to begin to remember what it was like to have aspirations and dreams. You can be anyone you want.

7. Feeding The Soul: A Taste Of Heaven After A Course of Empathy

I reflected in how to approach the series and used the metaphor of a mirror mask to display that. Early advertising from 2014 showcases the changing image of masks above to show that all of someone’s history factors into a Heaven version in any aspect of attachment. I’ve retouched and revisited them since then in 2019-2021. In a Christian state, we are asked to reflect on our lives and what we do. I started there as education and understanding always comes at the end. I am unsure of how other versions of afterlife plays out but it is always going to be about how we are remembered. I’ve branched since then. To approach it the way I started to was from a place of this is what I’ve done before and this is how it is universal to us all. Perspective changes everything. Passion moves forward when stuck.

Around the same time, cost of living was rising and we were notified that there was no insurance on the house we were staying at. It was an acknowledgement that we had to move and liabilities had knowing prior heaters not fit for the building and winters of frost breath remembered in undergrad of uninsulated attics living with my dog Tyson at the time. You do what you have to in order to survive and never a fault there knowing I lovingly refer to that house as “The Island of Misfit Toys” built from those who lost relationships and had to be rediscovered. I’ll never fault my landlord and loved the space I was given, but we had to move in that regard. I found my soul there and danced in hallways, photographed family on the toilet and painted the last in a traditional sense there in rediscovery. Fond memories of the street walkers down the road wishing I said hello once in awhile. “Pippy’s Playhouse”, an abandoned recycling center on my running route that produced my first images before never going in there again after discovering tragedy. Hood Mart down the street actually named that while the money game was played. Give what I could when asked and it built up daily. If someone asked for a beer, I bought it for them knowing them to be honest in their struggles or in just having a moment of brevity. Neighbors watched the home and was welcomed into theirs. An abandoned school in the neighborhood that always reminded me of Xavier’s Home for the Gifted.

Around 2013 my boss began shifting the ownership of the company to the employees. I am unfamiliar with all the closed conversations surrounding that but the price tag was in the millions. The plan was you were invested a certain number of years. If I recall there was consideration for the number of years prior in great regard, but the percentage to get to 100% would be years afterwards creating a share holder structure based on longevity. The idea was to take care of the employees after she was gone to promote the sustainability of the company for future generations. At the time I was there for over 7 and it was sold to the company more as a transfer without talking the payout which is 100% allowed. I suppose the investment structure was there to eventually be able to afford to payoff the loan required to pay the former owner. It was a start of something to look forward to in the future that would/could eventually be paid out and the 20+ of us were grateful.

Knowing more money was needed to survive, I proceeded to approach my boss for a raise from a place of compassion. I was given it knowing I was grateful and understanding to the 7-years of no raise. Compassion moments always had between her and I. My roommates and I transfer to our new home and I was given a chance to unpack into a new environment.  A few weeks in marriage calls unexpectedly. An opportunity for a position in the bridal world. I never thought I would get the position and sent off my CV thinking, “well…I won’t be hearing back from them.” Famous last words 3 interviews in and I was offered a chance to not struggle anymore. (At least not where I was.) Prior conversations with my Falcon knowing I said, “I am just destined to repeat the same thing from here on out with no chance of advancement.” I took the opportunity knowing it was beyond what I knew but was a chance to move forward career-wise and not just solo. A chance taken to see where things could go I thought. I resigned in June 2014 from my employer when a job offer that included my photography skill-set along with more of my marketing/creative background being put to expansive use. Received about $1500-$2000 dollars from my 8 years working at the percentage rate which was very helpful in re-establishing down in Miami at first before settling in Boca Raton to a whole different world of cost-of-living. With the blessing and support of my work family, I was well wished and went off to South Florida where the owner of my work family grew up. I gave an exit interview as I left one world to travel to another.

In my mind it was a chance to dream of having my brick on the wall noticed and supported by others in a different capacity. I continued in my obligations to a series knowing things have drastically changed and acknowledged that publicly yet while entering into a Brave New World not knowing what I was really getting into.

I’ve talk about my social media presence being attacked since at least 2017. I’ve clarified in my #8. History is not dictated by those who are not creative, but by those who freely express themselves. Humanity comes from the brave aspect of that venture. To attack that as I have seen is jumping in story line, but important on my own personal site removed from the internet archive. You shall not pass on letting this happen to people thinking you can just disregard your inspiration and not give credit. I am mortified at what I’ve experienced knowing at some point people will never have access to a computer in their resolve on the either side. I’ve made my stance and made my comments. Globally, this has compounded. #foretelling

Always handwrite first. The internet can change things. Money talks. Seen or not, I’ve been seen beyond belief to give structure to what has occurred. The blogs of myspace a perfect example of evolution knowing it was taken away from people. Notes on Facebook. Gone from access. What abut those authors? Notes on your phone…at least mine is not there anymore. Arthur Unknown. Know that anyone can change your story digitally. I don’t feel safe knowing I come from a 2018-19 year experience of hearing private blog commentary re-iterated to me indirectly nor what is about 3-4 years out story-wise. Since then…most definitely virtual attacks. I’ll talk about that. What you write on the internet is always open for others to change or interpret. Having the strength to do it in a final fort? That means something. Your keystrokes always open for others to record. That comes from fact and experience. Freudian in thought, but it is truth. That comes later.

I was enamored by what I learned early on in my employment. I wore what was close to cerulean blue my first day knowing I was just learning about this “stuff” but made my commitment and was greeted with flowers and a welcome card. A rare occasion at the time, I was able to preview The upcoming Disney Collection before it went to market. A rarity as design was off-limits prior and slowly those doors opened up to some and bonding of departments was had. That was a gift. When I first met the Chief Creative Officer, we were gifted insight into inspiration which was fascinating for me. Asked if I could tell which princess was which based off the design, it was simpler that year as the theme was color but if you start to look at the design details you start to see the inspiration. I got most of them right so that was a definite win in the right direction.

My background was educational to the company with 8-years of experience on files produced to completion, checking with personal responsibility before printing. <PRO TIP: Never mess up a coupon in design or printing. That is a multi-million dollar mistake.> My background of Coca-Cola proved viable and unique to the creative director who from the beginning belittled my practices of organization and standardization questioning why I was cleaning the company logo and writing a style guide. Never just “copied an brand identity guide”. My company prior wrote them and lived by them and any viable company does the same. I never got to finish it, but at least I got the logo in the right place. The question “Who is Alfred Angelo” asked very early on and only adopted 2 years later by senior management to answer. But was part of the style guide. My motto was to always educate, empower and motivate the wholesale accounts that was more critical later once I found out the history between Alfred Angelo and them. It was what was vital for the company to be the leader and expectation of their price point in The Bridal World by giving wholesale accounts all the tools and knowledge to be successful. Considering the addition of their retail side prior to my employment, it was based off the notion to compete with DAVID’S BRIDAL. Locations popped up that may or may not have taken in the wholesale accounts business and people’s family-run businesses were shut down. From there the relationship with the wholesale accounts never recovered that was exasperated by bundled bridal party collections that were not selling well. The cost was detrimental to everyone and good faith REQUIRED to regain that business and market. I thought of them as franchisees who if you build them up, they build you up. Good faith = Good space in retail. You could see it in The Annual Bridal Fashion week where accounts would walk on by or at least had major intrigue in Disney which is always a eye-catcher to consumer/customer/advertiser regardless of taste or opinion. Sadly, that toolkit was never fully adopted but we snuck in what we could. I understand the financial sides on either bit of the coin which was worked on more towards the end, but it goes back to always being a good partner and empowering 1600 locations vs. 60 retail spaces (I believe it was 72 at its height, 0 at its low). It is a combination effort of choose your battles and focus. As intimate and small the bridal business is, happy marriages are required or it becomes an ugly divorce.

Later on as the headquarters was being renovated and redone, I reached out to departments early on to try to uncover an annual schedule of events to work off of knowing most departments prior did not interact with one another. It was essential to not constantly fly by the seat of the pants and at least would provide critical annual points to work around. I digress on why marketing had not set something up like this prior so I took over initiative. It opened the door to introduce and say hello with senior management. That changed while doorstopper’ed and questioned by the VP of Marketing on when attempting to approach the CEO. Strange this world of corporate that I find myself in. “Why is no one talking?…” Where I did go I went to discover more about the company that I have invested in and uprooted my life for. If I was going to succeed in a company of 80-years stability and make it a safe place it is important to know who you are living with and work together. Excitement in the hallways of adventures in bridal where I get to use my knowledge I had while learning what I could from others. Here I was now making twice my annual salary of before which my quite studies of Coca-Cola style guides proved amazingly beneficial knowing that by extension they pretty much partner with everyone. Secretly so much corporate branding knowledge with much more to learn but I learned allot in those style guides of 8-years. Things flew from there on Delta into Carmike Cinemas with food from Kroger service provided by Motorola and AT&T where afterwards a trip to 7-Eleven with a Blockbuster Rental before going home and cooking Waffles in my House knowing the next day I’ll be waving my Six Flags at a SEGA-owned Arcade where I plugged in my sound card knowing Disney was not A Whole New World for me.

Coca-Cola is amazing in the Design Machine of rendered flavors which all have amazing personalities. This was a Kwikee for me before I get into an AutoZone of NASCAR. At time out for sports. Touched every single Pro team and Division I school in at least the passion of American Football and Basketball. It is Madness I tell you. PURE MADNESS that even the World of Coke goes into a World Cup. Space for pitches made on and off the field in locations mocked up in fantasy for people to walk around to dream and be inspired. But I’ll can that for later although I know I can’t bottle it in for long. Pieces here and there to build your own contributions, I am full of toolkits and adaptability. Grab the popcorn, I’ve been an Avatar of advertising for many movies. A Frozen Fury of Energy designed inside on aspirations of the space of CitiTrends (started in Savannah, GA actually) that were never adopted. I saw the sign there that street art and bringing city life into market was on trend if a balance between “on the streets and into the homes” was found.

What I like most about my approach to marketing and design still comes from 2007/2008. I be-stilled in myself and verbally expressed to my boss and co-workers the necessities of changing advertising to be hopeful and more up-lifting after the market crash. As money gets tighter, there are certain things that become more important than others to purchase and to promote and coming together was important. I started with my own brand and worked things in here and there. When not much “creative” involved in the process, 10,000’s of Points-of-Sale in 8-years that make me a national PoS before going international sharing napkins with everyone on their flights I never travelled. I’m sorry. Shared a Coke story for background.

Raised in Georgia and 8 years in Atlanta, did you not think “Gone with the Wind” was not in my head? The #1 movie of all time (based on inflation) with a statement on the hilltops proclaiming “I’ll never go hungry again.” A plot point of respect to MGM knowing what they held and where things are now. Is respect given to artists and their contributions knowing that as we age things translate differently through education and awareness? I watched it on my plane trip to Italy in 2017 after the fall of Alfred Angelo: unemployed, cash strapped with a trip already booked and mostly paid for prior. Never vacation time allowed much as we were short-staffed and those vacation days stockpiled were lost and never compensated for when the company went under. The rest of the money came from childhood gifts from my deceased grandmother. Amazing how that one worked out. Those hills are alive with powerful statements everywhere that echo and bounce back to others making their own statements. Alive factors in much more than after-the-fact in meaning.

FUN FACT: Rights of movies go to the last living person of a production. That is a fun one to look up in the world of exploitation. Laws everywhere to make or break people. They always change here and there over the years. Watch the pattern of protectiveness on that. #studentofcopyrightforquitesometime

Some companies (most I think) do not allow artists to showcase their work. How do you expect artists to get new jobs if you take away their portfolio options while most companies require a visual portfolio for consideration? This leads to the question, “Why (as an artist or professional) spend more time than necessary investing in overtime or late nights when it is far more valuable and potentially lucrative to start investing in your own brands? While others try to lock you out, potentially do not promote you and try to work unreasonable hours not properly respecting the value of your work, then that is a time to evaluate the identity crises that those employers have. Clocked out or out-the-door is “your time, your dime”. Invest in positive brand building of yourself outside careful of where other artists have gone before to make ends meet. Industry always travels with artists and there are some time-honored traditions in there that go against the honor code.

A good middle ground if companies transition from this “No Portfolio Practice” is to possibly review portfolio pieces moving forward and give starving artists a chance when they venture out elsewhere as it is a requirement that got them in your door anyways. It would be a non-requirement to enforce; but a good-will’ed effort that could be a brand promise of who you work for and with. Collectively the corporate world will have to answer the artist portfolio question or start paying people a whole lot better than they have been. I can see this as being transformative to the contract world in particular where there is always contract negotiations. If unable or unwilling to on-board as a full-time hire, there should and could be room to allow portfolio work to be displayed to help artists on their journey to full-time employment elsewhere on their way to finding a “forever home”*. This could also promote an understanding and possible modifying or adding a percentage system based on what is provided by contract. The system move to massive contract work brings into question the contract-hire practice where artists are possibly cut out of legal rights of ownership. Rules of that do not apply in regards of conversation and agreement prior on the package deal. I see how that has become industry standard. Artists everywhere are disrespected and not provided comfort or stability while at the same time fortifying your company. Propped up by contracts and claims of “mine” while the artist never gets to settle down with zero paid sick days and hardly any vacation if at all. By law you never perpetually keep people in the contract status renewing it annually. The contract practice is difficult because by definition you are in a constant state of job search knowing that went the term is up it may or may not get renewed. You cannot ever fully treat them as on-boarded employees and should always be treated as a represented guest within your house by another company. To abuse contract workers is amoral. When caught, the law is unsympathetic to the practice of those cost saving measures of not on-boarding.

*Forever, of course, is always based on respect and not indicative of a certain time-frame outside of always a part of a life story where either choose what to do with the memory and the experience. There are those that last a season and those that last a lifetime in employment. It is important to remember that memories last more than a life-time when shared or written down, but your heart is only with you as long as its lifespan allows and always able to be shared to bring back the dead until it breaks. Those split seconds of transfer, a flat-lined argument of how to pay it forward. -Philip Bonneau 3/28/2022” - photographed on my phone and leaving this section as it is. (4 minor changes 3/29/2022)

DISCLAIMER: At this point in the story, never an NDA at Finished Art Inc. nor Alfred Angelo was signed or asked of in either employment.

For any employee: ALWAYS KEEP A COPY OF THE EMPLOYEE MANUAL ON-HAND AND OFF-SITE OR A COPY OF YOUR CONTRACT. This PSA message is to protect you first and the company second by familiarizing and memorizing how to treat one another with laws available debating a system. HR Departments are the opposite in who they protect first. That will completely depend on the company you work for and what they stand for. Never be scared of the money behind corporations because when it comes to worker’s’ rights they or someone else is always going to be there in the right playing the numbers game. Speak true and you will find more of them behind you than ever before. Companies are made of their contributors. Without them they are an idea that people believe in or not. My open letter elsewhere speaks in one major regard on this that is spoken of truth, conviction and can be proven 100%.

When it comes to myself I have never had a meeting with HR in the defensive until 2021 which I still don’t understand considering I was reporting and reported prior. I approached those departments in other companies in all their forms of imaginary, non-established or real when worker’s rights and civil rights mattered. I consider that completely a major victory of maintaining myself professionally for at least 15 years before that close encounter of the HR kind occurred. Still walked out professionally in the end anyways by removing myself from a hostile situation. You learn experience on these types of things as you get older. Somehow I was almost never an HR nightmare but I did live one here and there. #moreonthislater

A REFLECTION:

While others chatted amongst themselves, I took in global branding and befriended those also discounted that joined around the same time as I did via iChat. I did allot in the downtime. So did others. Always was a work horse. Dreams of moving up was never afforded previously due to company structure. With Alfred Angelo, I found myself gunning for it in a new environment in a world of hopes and dreams scared and confident knowing I was picked for this and I can do this. I love my Finished Art family but I know that advancement was had with some and perception in others. I visited about once a year with the catalogs I produced or worked on after the fact. It was nice to return home and where I started. They have at least year 1 and 2 on hand of my work with year 3 difficult and talked about below. It was always nice to go back to family and see how they were doing and catch up. Side jokes here and building there. 8-years grows on you and you get attached knowing your adult life formed in that building. Bars put up while I was away. A coldness set in afterwards. Someone broke in while I was away. A change of feeling there that was different but still welcomed. You knock and get buzzed in was always present when I was there with the door almost always watched over and greeted. More protection reinforced by bars and strapped down computers once invaded. Chained down one way or another.

A metaphor to that which goes outside that family circle and becomes something to say about the workforce. I’m picturing a image in my head of workers in a corporate office, electronics strapped down and once seated (or standing because we aren’t cruel), blue and white collars wrapped around necks leashing you to your desk where maybe you get a chance to go out to use the bathroom or get fed. House-broken one way or another.

Years before I thought of the standard office photo. Smiling employee at a desk in an environment. Turn on a black-light and there is a completely different story there in what gets revealed on writing on the walls. Phrases revealed while smiling of internal thoughts. Never photographed that, but I am sure many people can relate to what doesn’t get said but thought in the office. A coping mechanism of “Ugly Simple Truths” technique that expands on something we all need to address at times. Silence in that area is more often than not. Doesn’t mean we weren’t learnin’.

As I went my different ways we stayed in touch afterwards. Long gone the sitting at my desk blasting music or keeping it low and hearing what was said at times. You learn when to speak and when not to and the company was very supportive in the 8 year.. More than I, many silently struggle and we never realize until we get to know people. Always easy to transfer to another space in the office to avoid what it is you hear and always an option to look for new employment. It is always about environment and it is now even reasonable to work remotely knowing for many that group settings are no longer an obstacle course that they have to run every day. The struggle to keep a mouth sewn shut at times is real for everyone. To do so at times is a complete virtue. That comes from any employment setting. Any person.

We are drawn or repelled by people’s words and actions. Remember, “How they treat you is how they may treat others.”. You never know who is listening.

Home economics is everything that can (and should) be applied to the employment home as well. Its necessity is a modern corporate culture thing and this is why we have annual training at some companies to constantly introduce, re-educate and en-grain. The term modern is very loose as exploitation and harassment has been there from the dawn of employment. If training is not available or provided, there are PSAs all over the place on the internet and Youtube to provide direction on how to be an adult around others who are trying to make it while others are trying to break it. Reintroduce yourself to Seseme Street if one must. Everyone has their own personality and levels of experiences. Picking up from where teachers are forced into raising children, companies have realized the stunted growth and has had to step in with a heavier hand to introduce/re-introduce compassion into the workplace. When that structure is not there or enforced, I’d say it is perfectly acceptable to paddle back when they were raised incorrectly. (Just be prepared to run afterwards.) To talk about it would be a step but sometimes writing it down helps moving you into a direction before doing so.

At Finished Art I was pretty quiet in the backroom. I was never very quiet via iChat as other coworkers talked seniority, political gestures, invasive conversations involving the former creative director. Talked where I could then but to ever say anything that was overheard was noted and I just kept on keeping on. I get it. Didn’t have to like me. In that regard, speaking up then never would have gotten me anywhere anyways. To break my physical silence treatment, it was always a joy to close the chat window and walk up and physically talk to people. Not many were talking in person as the computer took over. Otherwise it was pretty much 8-years of not much verbially talking while at work which factors in personality wise. I sat in judgement and conversations daily as my life went on with policies factoring in on appropriate 9 am firm rules. One minute late 4 times collectively and you loose a vacation day. This list was compiled and saved. I questioned what to do in order to resolve that on my end. Those 9 am meetings were very important with zero regard to Atlanta traffic which is a whole different story of working around to perfect travel. Commuting to this day is still a major problem. I remember a bus flipped on the highway where student athletes were killed with a bus dangling over the side of an overpass as I approached my exit. An extreme case where no fault given on multiple people showing up late. I eventually addressed the issue by moving 2-3 miles away from work.

I understand the importance of the 9 am meetings as they were the round table ground work of what was on everyone’s plate that day. Sound project management before the individual PMs followed throughout the day. At the same time I understood the absurdity of enforcement and a call for lee-way as I am sure there is legality behind taking away vacation days. I never had a vacation day taken away and often got paid out for my vacation days at the end of the year because I never could go on vacation. 10 days a year and almost always paid out for the 8 years in December/Jan. I’ve read enough malicious compliance to understand future employees of the world would just clock out the rest of the day in that circumstance and say see you tomorrow in fun to compensate for something taken away. The At-Will employment term is really misunderstood and favors both employees and employers equally when looked at. Never should it be used to be hung over an employee’s head and tightened on emotional impulse. I’d question anyone who falls on the At-Will clause to terminate someone. Once you see it happen, you do not forget it.

Where was the compromise to be had to on the meetings knowing every minute counted towards possible losing vacation? I spoke to my boss and it was agreed upon that I could come in earlier and leave early to settle the 9-5 variable. It was sound to both with a value of my own time knowing projects were billed to clients and hours recorded. It was no harm to the company and eliminated the stress of non-compensation of time spent “salary” but also with “hourly aspects involved”. Overtime would have just been billed to the client and not always required if at all. Finished Art is that efficient. Shortly after implementing, it was questioned by others I did not talk to after about the arrangement nor should I as we were the same title at the time. There was concern that others were seeing me leave early and were not privy to my conversation with the owner. It was quickly a removed practice and back to the notepad we went if one minute late. Perhaps a clock-in/clock out system would have worked for that. Those talks with the owner were important. Support from my boss in many things over the years and collectively my art was supported as I mutually also promoted Finished Art in every art show as they were a sponsor.

To fix the problem that bled into “Can I come in early and leave early knowing others did the same?” was reasonable for me to ask. Always a case-by-case basis with the owner who allowed lee-way for a coworker to start late from date of hire and others when they got in trouble. Compassion was always her game and she knew it well to a fault. Even when those she trusted screwed over everyone in the company by embezzling from Coca-Cola through her company she practiced restraint. That was settled between Coca-Cola, the former creative director and herself. The ripple effect affected others and myself from their selfishness of newly-renovated homes and cars that lasted years for us all from his actions. Every single employee was negatively affected by his greed and actions that could of shut down everyone and left jobless destroying the then 30-year legacy of someone who treated everyone like family. In her compassion perhaps a group vote could have been had on that. It was decided that it was best for that person to continue working so they can pay back the company instead of going to jail. The sacrifice came from every employee who was there at the time who never got a raise after, may of not had gotten a Christmas bonus during that or The Crash, had to possibly put their plans on hold or never afforded a chance to make them. I hope you paid it back and in kind folded, compounded and with interest knowing the owner of the company paid Coca-Cola first and foremost and then we paid the price for you to have a better way of life and learn from your mistakes. Myself included especially knowing you tried to buy me at my night-time employment and “Monday is going to be awkward enough as it is”. The awkwardness of second jobs to pay the bills. At least “bartender” was a good cover. What will you do to survive and thrive? It takes facing the past and really throwing yourself out there to make ends meet. But, always trust judgement knowing that is what a human does and that is when understanding may take place on something I do not understand completely. I know I was negatively affected early on by other people taking advantage of a system and not caring about others in the process. Later I’ll reflect on Finished Art wondering why they were mentioned where they were anyways. It is always a get to know you.

Never talk to people and you never get the full story. Who are we as employees to be bound to that strict rule without it going back in the other directions? Have we become desensitized to the label of “Human”? Is it easier to relate by saying, “Mom”, “Dad”, “Brother”, “Sister”, “Husband”, Wife”? Does relationship status factor in when someone had the opportunity to build a family while others build a family of friends waiting for the opportunity to build themselves as well into the family structure of a home one day? We spend more time with each other at work than with our own families, if we even have one. They say we are equal but variables always there. I know what I’ve lost or could lose. That silent treatment can’t last forever.

Lots lost in translation Thats ok. It is a part of me. I save what I can knowing previous drafts are gone. It will come back worded correctly. Can’t make up life…you can only word it correctly. Lots of ground to recover.

A necessary tangent that led into a pro tip and reflection. As I walk with my middle name it is important to know it could go in so many different places initially.

With Alfred Angelo, one of the first things I questioned was the housing of files elsewhere and having other companies complete mechanical files. Foreign to me and strange of that being my background. I forget the monthly cost and understand the infrastructure prior of outsourcing those mechanical files. As my position fundamentally changed from what it was prior, there was zero need for that service and the housing of digital assets could have been done in-house, or I approached my prior employment for a quote knowing they also house and do the files for Design Machine and Coca-Cola. I don’t know many people but that was always a pay it forward with who you know.  That collaboration never occurred and I rebuild and organized an asset structure based off my knowledge and history.

From the creative director, it was peculiar for me to learn of the early 90s/2000s of corporate world where responsibilities were segregated appropriately before what I experienced and what others are doing now. That was something I never knew nor gained from my experience there. It quite went into the opposite direction. I couldn’t help but think how easy it was back then to designate professions to expertise in a world where we are asked to know it all now. A 3D artist here. A designer there. An animator there. I don’t like the reference, but segregation back then made life incredibly easy in comparison to having be be jacks and jills of all trades for far less. My experience at least eliminated the production company from the annual budget knowing it is standard to train(or was standard to me) to know mechanical files for print. Zero reason to have that service in training of artists having to do well more than what came before.

I approached the idea of being officially Disney with humility. Born of hallways and kitchen, my archetypes were created from the discounted and those making it with what they have. Some undiscovered and others discovered but kept away for safe keeping. A play pretend of imagination has been in me for years prior knowing it comes from an adult standpoint when not afforded a chance of options prior. I’ve worked with what I had with arts & crafts on Fridays mostly. Skip the club from time-to-time and do your own thing. That was not always with me as balance is to be had, but even there I’m in my own world at times. Hidden in meaning that I’ll never digitally type in this arena; all of my images represent more than just what is depicted at first glance.

They are a combination of yourself/myself/ourselves that mix together knowledge and experience before even getting to the supposed possible copywritten aspect of things wondering if artists were the one pursuing or if it is the ones that simply control things. I like to think of my rationale/creative process born from the advent of home video in the 70s/80s. The repeat button constantly pressed when once films were events that happened in theaters every couple of years. Mass production took over from there and things really became culture-engrained globally. Ownership of translation could be looked at many ways, but to attack it is to look at things literally or to dig deeper. My work is based on psychology, life and aspirations. It is transformative and never literal. Never any brand confusion and never have been attacked on my visual work for the last decade while my public domain-inspired aspects and original concepts have been invaded. (far beyond their artistic value when you get into the writing side of things which goes into scientific, theological and further into psychology). (Case in point if you are reading this in a non-enabled page right now before publishing.) I’d like to say that I know well enough to know that I’ve not gone unnoticed. I’ve been acknowledged just as much as I acknowledge. No attack there but aware.

I imagine by the end of this page no one will fault me for my words and what I’ve had to do considering experience. A last stand to dreams and trying to right wrongs and protect. Marred between fascinating discovery and wonder to clash with reality and hold on for us all.

9. A Fire Sparked With Global Support In Expanded Concepts. Caution: May Burn

I completely reject and do not claim the Swarovski Limited Edition advertising that was beginning to come out in 2017 for 2018. It was flat out false advertising of product where design differences were made between their original inspirations and the most expensive dresses that Alfred Angelo was going to sell at the time. I was not involved in the updating of old advertising to reflect the new products. I stated they needed to be rephotographed and met with respect to Swarovski, Disney and the bride. I was not listened to due to budgetary constraints towards the end of Alfred Angelo and their impulse of reactionary injection was sound to look at the needs of the company while still over producing product that never went to market not considering the thousands of dollars invested to get there. A closet of never seen product looked at in the 80-100 thousand dollar range where others can do the math in that while retail refused samples based on retail space and in-fighting existed towards the end. All of that was being fleshed out in awareness of corporate alliances and the sacred partnership of brands coming together. (I defer that even our corporate alliance manager who was marketing head of the retail side was never compensated for her corporate alliances as per her initial hiring agreement.) I know I would never have photographed Swarovski in the same vein as the last 3 years (knowing the second glance application of the live-action Cinderella dress prior that was asked of me. Discounted internally by retail. Proved popular with brides if they could find it to try it on. Never a portfolio piece but a topic of discussion and definitely not commentary on the dress format where detail and design was most certainly put in place based on hand-painted details translated to affordable aspirational dreams of cinema and real life connecting.) When it comes to the Swarovski dresses I would had pulled from my experience of the other brands I did photograph to continue to push myself or would have preferred to still defer to outsourcing knowing the responsibility.

My experience in outsourcing the first year was a not in-line creative vision with the creative director and working with her contacts who pushed things way too far into where it shouldn’t be according to my proof-of-concepts and where we were going with the bridal industry. Healthy discussions had and spelled out completely in proper back and forth communications and notes, the working relationship was short lived due to deadlines where I had to take over. I still believe that who you choose as an artist to help you is important and I respected their contribution but it was not right for the brand. Second year, I was left predominantly on my own and it shows knowing I traveled Florida for original backplates and locations before bringing the contract photographer/creative on our journey across Florida with just the two of us going from location to location. From filling 16 ft. fountains with water and waiting a couple hours in the middle of the night to helping me on my journey of filling a dream for the company. So many stories on that travel of what it meant. I’ll never forget the peace of being in a Tampa aquarium when no one but us was there. That was and is my only time in Tampa. Beforehand, I reached out to a liaison of the Atlanta Aquarium knowing my roots from there and acknowledging it as the largest aquarium in North America. The company I worked for prior created the tabletop book for it so there was always a special connection of adult home town. An image in Tampa of me for placement that I later said, “This is Heaven" as a cover photo. Quiet thoughts and silhouettes in aspiration and dreams knowing the peace of the world in things bigger than us in front of their largest exhibit. Tiny in the sea where life goes on and flourishes. Immigrated homes that only get privacy at the time of closure. I can imagine the beauty of being the cleaning staff to places like that. Peace and serenity of aquatica silently living until you listen to them properly. That image of me on the bench is the photographers image. I’ll always be thankful for the time spent in directly/indirectly teaching me and getting to know one another knowing part of their history and how honored I was then and now. That image matters. At least to me. I’ll reflect on that collection that year as always works in progress. Every year really but that in particular knowing I was left on my own in some regard and picked up by more artists than I could think of knowing I am trying with what I have. It will always be that original moment that sticks with me. Someone saw me and no matter the scale of it. That was an artist-to-artist moment. That was a moment with the sea. You can’t escape when artist’s connect. I suppose the same could be said at the Miami zoo and being allowed into the Tiger’s pin and space. One metal door away from their area. Once we left the cat knew we were there and searched and sniffed. Territory invaded or curiosity. A connection knowing my throwing arm is not what it should be but we had a Tiger moment in Miami on that journey.

I remember that timeframe of that journey and knowing we had the Grand Floridian on our shoot list for what would be our Tiana shoot. We were not very welcomed and not allowed to stay even when photographing late at night. Our company put us in the Rock’N”Roll Hotel and honestly I was exhausted by the time we got there. A room is a room. A change occurred from year one to year two where hostility was had on the Disney side knowing we were housed at the Grand Floridian prior on our scout search. A slight change from the year before where creative impasses were had and probably carried over with some. I believe they charged us for the backplates used at Walt Disney World Year 1. Direction given for some. With Alfred Angelo being charged for those, would that make those backplates contract to hire? Did they sub-lease Cinderella’s castle?Creative Director has complete say on the Belle backplate on that one knowing it was the wrong angle and we were not on set for it. She can be my guest to elaborate on that knowing that angle was difficult for models and should have been taken in consideration by her. She wanted the chandelier, I wanted more the floor and environment. Tables were not to be moved and neither of us were present for the backplates. Sync’ing wasn’t occurring at that point in that regard and from my research there was more than enough editorials at the park to know that it was never going to be special or unique advertising wise based off incredible photographs by the photographers of The Walt Disney Company. They have their locations and their shots and they are beautiful. They are specific and I imagine them best reserved for those that have their weddings in the park. Those are the real life princesses and princes. Those locations were already in rotation and the aspirational aspect I imagined was never in our company budget.

I suppose what I do like about those 3 years is that bridge of reality and fantasy. The hand goes one way or the other based on what you are looking at and always a critique on my end but that comes from investing what I invested into it. I’m harder than I should be knowing details had and limitations. It is the limitations that make them enduring and perhaps my story behind them that adds on before getting into my perspective of the royalty and where things could or shouldn’t go. I have my references and I’ll leave it as that for now.

I’d have to defer to the contracts where Disney was owed percentages each year regardless of creative input. You would see a structure similar to theaters knowing that comes with licensing. I never saw nor asked to see what was in their licensed purview just that they could not be involved and collect a check which again is licensing. I imagine the web series produced afterwards for “Disney Fairy Tale Weddings” (independent of us and our “partner”) and during neglected major aspects of what was actually going on in regards to “Disney Fairy Tale Weddings” with cast-membering on either side. Even the fashion show was combative pomp and circumstances which I did work for but was never prevy to attend. I got to watch from a distance Broadway’s Jasmine looking at my At-A-Glance wondering if she found the hidden mickey on the cover I designed or the Genies. Always imagined adventures for me watching one way or another.

I remember and I can never forget my boss saying, “If Disney wants something they will get it.”. As he a former cast-member, that resonates into my real life experience like you won’t believe and I wonder moving forward how to approach that statement. I never saw those contracts between Alfred Angelo and Disney, but I walked into the brand questioning them and my boss on established ideas wondering “why would Ariel ever be photographed underwater knowing that is where she didn’t want to be after she found love?” (knowing the fantastic image from the previous creative director was aspirationally executed in a studio in NYC and had Ariel looking up towards another world.I thought the same just as much as I NEVER wanted to photograph Snow White with an apple knowing that represented her death. Change of thought when thinking happily ever after but always proof that compromises with me was always made in these paragraphs. No NYC studio shoots for I. Wasn’t in the budget. I had my Heroes + Villains experience knowing I came with about 110 characters in my head…what was 9 more (knowing I photographed 2 already so really 7). Step outside Heroes and you start to see some interesting things in my work that will always be a depiction of working with what you have and making something beautiful from it.

Off to the OSCARS. I’ll be back in a bit afterwards. -7:58pm 3/27/2022 knowing what was written after was prior and we modify as we go.

I tried to outsource to an up-and-coming digital artist for that series the second year but was met with excuses and lack of effort in the opportunity given. I get it as we are all trying to make it and it takes time. I question how much damage I’m doing to myself writing my story but it is important that I walk that line knowing there is a point eventually. I pulled back my initial work knowing she will always be responsible for the crown on Jasmine, but she was fired for not meeting deadlines and expectations which is how the world works. Excuses were not afforded to me and time was of the essence. She was paid for her services and I had to do the usual fight with finance to get it out the door. Lessons for us all. I finished my Tiger image on my own loving where she had gone since then based off my notes and wasn’t that much for the timeframe based off the original. Tired and working the 16/23 hour days. Creative Director was terminated during this time which added more responsibility on myself in interim. Pressure. Overworked. Disney a strict 2-3 week turnaround. I’d say others helped stepped in for sure but I was senior creative of the marketing department as well for a couple months until we thankfully rehired the previous creative director. Thoughts of myself in that position knowing for a little over a year I did the job but definitely did not have the bridal eye yet nor the softer touch. A raise would have been nice but the healthy mentorship that followed was worth more than that.

In the never produced 2018 collection of Disney, I was expected to take on full photographic responsibilities on top of everything else. I don’t talk about the other brands and frankly that can be found in the Alfred Angelo section of my page. I focus here on the Disney aspect since that is where I have the most ownership, the most help and it resonates the most to my dreams, your dreams and what we build our lives up to. Penance for me to know Disney is an aspect of shattered glass slippers. Mine and yours.

I made the brand decision of passing the Disney mantle and began mentoring to remove obstacles while trying to figure out how can I handle all of this. I couldn’t. Shouldn’t. At this point they had me compositing and building Truly Yours which again goes into my ownership along with stock photography aspect of back-plating becoming an issue of affordability and destinations untraveled in a brand line conceptualized to be about individuality. (get the picture?) I was expected to do what I was doing to Disney for a whole different line that I was building with other marketers on personality of the brides. Senior Creative Manager/Photographer/Retoucher/Compositor/ Co-Creative Director (only in the aspect that I was on site and she was remote. We worked awesomely together and I managed what I could talking daily.) No raise and actually found out I was to have one and then it was taken away and never given to me. Combated on the photography side which got progressively worse. “Little bit country…Little bit rock’n’roll”, Bosses tagline after seeing my work with our line model of working together with the social media manager and those of the generation of the target brides. we would often do shoots that connected well but then that went into further exploitation.

Was done…All I could do was set things up for success and leave when that was in place. I spoke frustrations before with those I was mentoring knowing this isn’t right and that was heard. To do all of Disney I never would I have allowed that to level of exploitation to continue now 3 years in (especially without further compensation) and was preparing to consider leaving the company and taking my equipment with me before Alfred Angelo’s abrupt closure. There is a difference of what is common vernacular of “reading for filth”. That has never been me and never will be me. Experiences happen and I have a sold since 2010 relationship with using my words and growing together. To do such as “reading for filth” is judgement that by definition should never be accepted. Always 2 sides at least to a story that I learned early on in “Ugly Simple Truths” while branching out to other people’s stories. We are all in this and no money puts a price tag on truth and reality knowing dreams are on the line. If that phrase ever comes up with others it is always a colorization of their character and missing the point that I strive for by bridging the archetype gap of psychological growth. Where am I at in this?

After a hiding under the rug of a shoot that should have been compensated for, I was not to be paid. My boss I believe said make this one disappear. It did and in that moment I silently revoked all licensed works I provided to the company and included that which I was never compensated for. It was spelled out completely in the contracts the VP of Marketing signed where non-payment was not going to fly. I have, with my own personal equipment and not compensated, designer dress form representations of the 2 Swarovski gowns on dress forms that prove the design differences and were shot for approvals and not for advertising. 4 gowns produced in total. Where those hidden dresses are today is unknown to me but a legend involving Disney behind them in the story of the sanctity of marriage. I never had them but always story driven when it comes to why I make my claim on not only “Disney Fairy Tale Weddings by Alfred Angelo”, but also on visual assets that were licensed revoked by non-payment and for standing up for others who also were not compensated. I remember my boss saying “My successor will never know the wiser…” spoken when discussion of non-payment leverage on their part. Illegal talks of deducting from my annual salary for what I was paid for photographic services knowing you could neer separate my Senior Creative Manager title from my work and I would have sued instantly if that was enforced knowing the law and what they were doing. Made to believe I should be grateful that never happened. One step ahead there. Acknowledgement was given in first hand account that my boss was also looking elsewhere for employment leading up to the end of Alfred Angelo while brokering deals. To this day I still want to know why the head of IT was asked to surveillance my computer solely and individually knowing that came from a second hand account and I went to a first hand from maybe blocked facebook and approached it professionally on Linkedin. No response knowing we met when I loaded my personal equipment into my car at night a week out of “unplanned” knowing talks of “working from home” were looming in the air.

Likeness is very important with fantastic stories behind each and every one of them. Trilogies for most of them as each year a new story and direction where fundamental Philip iconography met officially with Disney. I joke about being the unofficial license holder of Disney marriages now under the same card, but it is not wrong either. Would this make me the imaginary controller of live-action versions of the Disney royalty and their taglines until resolved knowing they may impede on my brand? I wanted to approach this blog very much in the then, but present takes over before I continue now knowing what happened on iStock on March 25, 2022 and on Facebook on Feb. 15, 2022 as well as my personal blogs and written works. I look at my time creatively when given a chance knowing I made the statement, “Give me a budget and see what I can do” prior. So much I would change with time and with a team.

I stepped out just now to see a blue bird fly onto a tree in the backyard. I say hello and try to take a picture before it flew away. Missed Opportunity. Has Uncle Pip been appropriated? Oh well…Pippity-Do-Dah. Back to writing I go. - 3/27/2022 (Before the OSCARS)

I remember when forced into photography for the company after selling my idea of composition for the Disney brand Year 1. Me doing photography for the company came in the second year and is completely outside of Disney. The Phoenix image above was shot in Atlanta of a photography counterpart and started there. With a mixture of studio and on set, I finished it in Miami and it became the basis of what Disney could be knowing it was more of me having Year 1 branch out more than anything. It was a look where we could go knowing the image was not bridal but you have Disney to consider on what is fundamental iconography. That was important to me. Time was never properly given for composition but it was a learning curve for us all in that regard. Deadlines to be had. 2 weeks max maybe 3 the 2nd year. Endless nights. Coffee beyond belief when the original Creative Director was not supportive the first year, sabotaged the second year (where I am still owed my 10 dollars for the tiger pose she said I’ll never get at the Miami Zoo). In fairness, it was the contract photographer who got the shot who she had a working relationship with prior.

Zero faith in me the second year as it was thought that I was totally Disney in my experience. Another creative director after of experience who was supportive and allowed me to breathe in that realm to produce a more finer product in budget. I loved the idea of a supportive creative director where to this day I cannot recollect a single argument as I kept her in the loop even towards the end when her superiors did not.

I’m known more for my Disney contributions to Alfred Angelo. I dare not talk about Alfred Angelo now knowing the shame it brings in even being there at the sinking of the ship. Months prior I wish I had left, but I did not want to leave people in a position of non-success. I brought with me the marketing skill of Coca-Cola that was adapted to all the brands of the company. I was instrumental to having a major bridal company acknowledge LBTQIA+ marriage well before it was a Supreme Court ruling and saying “Now is the time” the day of to lead to others in the industry following suit. Team efforts of course, but my convictions came with me down to Florida.

I have an Alfred Angelo page and A Disney page so no need to go into discussion there. Those can be navigated in the Branding + Design tab. I’d erase them knowing the connection they have to others, but they were a major opportunity for me and the best I have is to explain how much of myself I put into it as others did before it’s downfall. Perhaps that is why I was never able to get another job remotely close to that after. The shame of the company passed down to those who worked there who couldn’t move the situation after. It took me 6 months to even find a contract position. 0 dollar bank account not going to happen once in this story. I don’t fault anger from others from that. All I can say is that it wasn’t me and I’ve suffered from that. Or maybe it is my portfolio. Maybe the individuality or the openness. Wasn’t paid right then and not paid right now so I understand if this was to be the case in that regard. In the end I side with the brides and the artists and people not compensated. I side with so many knowing more than I should wondering why no one said much after. It is a haunt to myself and it is reflected in a photograph I could never photograph properly by myself.

Towards the end of Alfred Angelo, senior management threatened me to bear the burden of the company on my shoulders if I didn’t do photography for them. They asked “What do you want me to do…go down to the college and beg?” The question hard then and as it is now. There is the self question and there is the others answer. Well aware of what occurred prior to their pay and my never happened increase and the silent treatment I took, I took on the weight of a company that was never mine to do so. Without my photographic contributions of collections, there would have been no sales and I pride myself that towards the end there was hard to distinguish value between my work and the contract photographer I admire. No doubt artists know their work and would love that discussion one day to say my admiration of getting to know and what I was forced to do. I was ridiculed by senior management publicly from both a sexuality standpoint and from an expertise standpoint when “happy accidents promoted” was really your senior creative manager/in-house fashion photographer knowing the product brand and where to push things. I did things for free. I did things over again where I didn’t have enough experience to warrant respect. Gave suggestions unheard and noted when notes from above made sales sound like we were going out of business and pointed it out. I spent a whole Christmas coming up with a sound plan to lay out cost of photography to have it not even looked at off site with numbers in mind. I had raises set aside taken away from me. I saw other people’s raises taken from them after told they would get them after mandate of law. I did the original Creative Director’s job while she made twice as much as me and then never looked at after for a raise when without one or when asked to do photography which is a separate conversation. Every vendor who didn’t get paid I had to go to finance to beg to have it passed through knowing it probably would not. Myself included. Never a chance take a day off really. Saved my time for a trip for Italy that was scheduled before Alfred Angelo closed. I questioned the optics of taking a trip and possibly acting for support after before my mother and my deceased grandmother gifted me something randomly from childhood.

When I did photography, I paid for new equipment for myself by deducting it out of my final paycheck. It was maybe 10% what the contracted photographers were making while I used my own equipment from kickstarter until some of it broke and I replaced it. Rental fees added up on the other end. I never “stole someone’s work” as my boss put it. I was forced into it. Towards the end I was visually 100% in charge of the Disney brand(which I had been for 3 years, and their Truly Yours Brand where they wanted to composite until their hearts extent because they don’t realize how hard that actually is. Especially from someone self-taught. Year 4 of Disney I knew a new direction of needed and I couldn’t do that anymore of being the lead for that while focusing on the other 5-6 brands. Disney was and is a full-time job. I was expected to be Creative Lead /Photographer/ Retoucher/ Compositor at my $67.000 for Senior Creative Manager. That position fundamentally changed when I was hired to responsibilities never afforded of those before me and came at extensive savings to the company based on my knowledge that led to the removal of the production company and fortifying my designers education that outsourcing mechanicals is an outdated practice. My salary while doing the creative director’s job in some regards the first year. Left to my own as she no longer worked with the company the second to balance in the third.

I’ll never forget the words, “You know in the corporate world you get fired for not doing what you are asked to do.” Having been there at the end of the ship fearing for coworkers who did not know they were going to lose their job and have no employment, I’m glad I stayed and I’m glad no violence in corporate was had that day. It was coming and it a was known option. It was completely possible and completely different knowing the company shifted ownership and while not present; perhaps we should talk and tell you more about what was going on in the company you owned. Invested in changing conversations knowing the end result affected companies and wedding days of 2017.

There is massive respect for the opportunity and the legacy that evolve out of hands into others. To meet a family who created that and meant what they represent is always of the utmost respect. I was learning and very well experienced in my own regard. I may never be able to say thank you for the opportunity properly or maybe condoned/condemned from what has happened. But in my heart I know what was there and I can say that people believed more than you think. It will never be enough to the brides and I’ll never come back from that experience. Nor should you. That was an attack on your dream. Your dress…that some of you never got to wear. It is not much but I apologize knowing that would never be enough to how many people cared,

10. Learned Techniques Do Not Always Produce The Best Results. Translation required.

I think of my time at Alfred Angelo. Change in culture while I was there knowing change of culture prior.
I’m trying not to read what came before knowing I want to only edit what I can in further explanation knowing that stigma is always going to be a finger point and all I can do is try to say where I was, what I tried to keep alive and how I too was exploited and taken advantage of.

I have questions just as I am sure you do. I have some answers but not all of them. I worked well beyond my paygrade and it will never ever sit well with me how things ended up. At the very least they should have allowed you to get your dress. I can talk about the few weeks towards the end. “It sounds like we are going out of business” I said on advertising that was going through the department and signed off by senior management. A red flag knowing many were formulating and piecing together.
Talks on the phone of knowing people were going to be working from home overheard when office hours were changed. I now know that to be about unable to pay rent wondering further aspects of that particular employee knowing there is commonality and there are questions that were asked. I was told by a coworker that my supervisor approached IT on surveillance of my computer alone and solely. That was a directive where they were told we don’t have the money for that. A red flag that definitely factors later. The conversation of computer monitoring was brought up shortly after a switch of creative directors where it was mentioned that they are watching you while saying “Heads will roll”. That places things into 2015. I’d have to defer to others on the timing on my I was singled out that matters completely.

I think about what I am saying knowing I have had to try over and over to get out. Attempts made knowing I’ve been attacked and knowing that has been well after a series of attacks of trying to bring proper closure to something that needs to be spoken about. Not from a therapy session and not from unresolved issues but from an attack on the sacred intimacy of marriage and knowing that is what I signed up for and uprooted my life on a belief system that dreams are important. My dreams branched out visually since 2010 to find commonality in photography form. My stock trade earlier in that regard as I learned.

I believe it is fair for me to talk about my non-payments prior knowing towards the end all artistic aspects of licenses were revoked wondering the non-compensated aspects of what that means to “Disney Fairy Tale Weddings by Alfred Angelo”, Logo and Specific brands while acting in “creative director” capacity of responsibility knowing the creative director was making far more than myself from 2014-15. Interim when there was none and continually branched from 2014←2017 in means well beyond my paygrade or the previous job responsibilities of my title. I have tried to protect what I can of my assets knowing I am never going to be liable for what happened at Alfred Angelo and what senior members/owners did. I fought for the dream and I fought for my dream as well knowing we were all being exploited in trying to make Your Dress and Your Dream Come True in our aspect. What we wear is equal to what happens when stripped to nothing. Intimacy and moments of self or how to present ourselves.

They can try to sue me I guess. It took 5 years before the WARN act paid anything out of “unexpected closure”. Still wondering why I am being taxed on pennies on the dollar knowing interest was not collected or applied knowing it was fought for and won knowing some people know what was going on and so many people employee /bride/families did not. We were fucked over by business decisions. That is jumping ahead knowing I’ll be doing that a bit in these final sections.

For me to piece things together comes from listening and understanding what has happened. My answers are never the full story but I can only say there was not much speaking from others on what occurred and I was never asked to testify nor did I claim anything in regards to damages knowing I should never have to ask to be paid out my vacation at the very least as I stock-piled it for my Italy trip knowing we were understaffed. The WARN act is justified and full payment should have been made in this regard knowing it was a numbers game for awhile.

I can speak of the difficulty of vendors being paid. Average 4-6 month window. I can talk about how money was injected into the company as reversals were made corporately knowing in-fighting and power struggles occurred once the original family left the company in all capacity. Over production was a problem as thousands spent on dresses never to be adopted on the retail side to be picked up wholesale. They were working on that but production was changing and they were adapting with injections. Trends were important but there were hands on and off screen involved. Disrespect for sure was present knowing that I still believe if you listened to the demographic of those you are targeting and those with experience, it could have been a completely different story. (Privately, I wrote about that and unfortunately after-the-fact will never bring that brand back.)

Afterwards when we were all unexpectedly laid-off, there was a “We’re Back” message on the Alfred Angelo page. It was brought to my attention and it was quickly condemned. “No…we are not back.” I declared on social media as one of the worst marketing decisions ever to be made not realizing the emotional value of the brand to what occurred to the brides and family first and the employees second before going into wholesale accounts and knowing regardless of order we are all equal in stature before going into the back-end of the vendors and creative talent. I stated it would take at least a generation or 2 to get past that one if ever. That was seen instantly from the community and what was not seen behind-the-scenes is that somehow, every reference of my contributions were not on the updated site. Not a single one including all of my logo work. This occurred after I created my website for myself in unemployment trying to find a job and this came once I trekked my way back to Atlanta in shame of unemployment and taking anything after 300 applications dreams unfulfilled.

Having been attacked since then and having my assets ripped apart knowing I’ve tried to make it better for others, I speak of intention on others part knowing where it lead and what was already published. 10,13,14,15 Epilogue to be expanded on. I’m not touching the others once we get through this knowing I’ll correct and add on privately without recordedkeystrokes and questioning “why dafuq did this happen the way it did?”

There was a time we were told the owner is not injecting anymore money into this company. Credit card services were cut off shortly after. I’d defer to the financial institutions to know that doesn’t happen over night even by lay-person terms that is something that comes with notice knowing their insurance went up and they didn’t have the cash for the liability. That was followed shortly by “we have been advised by our lawyers not to accept anymore cash payments.” as deals to sell the company were had at the time.

I defer to my supervisor who tried to slip payments under the rug that were owed for my services as a photographer where they wanted to try to take that out of my annual salary in a triple dip of exploitation. They mentioned at the time they were also looking for jobs and planning leaving, I question how that works when they were the one approaching buyers and trying to broker deals. What was going on behind the scenes…employees of Alfred Angelo did not fail to adapt in that regard. Search for answers or react accordingly. Especially when senior management was already forced into pay cuts prior. Question of fiduciary duties. “Whoever replaces me will never know the wiser…”(paraphrased when talking about their attempt to probably rip me off and assume that whoever replaces them would think it was my job description). How does that factor later?

I discovered about 2 weeks out from closure that massive lay-offs were imminent. 3 stages of plans that involved restructuring and massive closure of retail. I wonder if the author of that ever got paid for their services. Between the trying to sell the company and the credit card company is no match to “I can close this place down in a heartbeat” (paraphrased 5 years later). Once found I revealed to my department knowing the eviction comment came well prior and was privileged information to some that I overheard.

I KNOW HOW THIS REFLECTS ON ME. From a visual stand-point I was asked to take on the burden of the company in the end threatened of job and disrespected. Loss of job if not doing what was asked of me. “What do you want me to do go down to the college and beg?” In hindsight I’d still never allow that ever knowing no vendor especially young artists should be subjugated to the exploitation that involved senior management ripping off and exploiting not just myself but also my design teams private printing company(broker) that they are still liable to pay. It was 6 months for me to find employment. 8-9 months for them. Marketing family stuck together anyways possible on this trip. Guess what…challenge accepted of talking of burden of this company. (My services are not paid for and again am not liable in anyway for the downfall of Alfred Angelo)

Management did not speak to staff of what was privileged and going on behind the scenes. We were only talked to and privy to information the day before knowing we all gathered in an office and the supervisor knew we knew at that point. Once I found out about the plan 2 weeks out I spent the weekend removing my personally-owned equipment that was deducted from my unfair wages that were threatened to be taken out of my annual pay anyways knowing if my boss ever did that I would cite federal law on that one. Removed from the office at night I was witnessed loading my personal belongings in my car while IT loaded theirs with TVs. I thought nothing of it as I do not know the circumstance behind it and I assume the same. I didn’t want my property wrapped around anything related to a potential closure of Alfred Angelo. I never wanted that tied up in what was coming and I protected my property and interest. I’m curious in how that plays out when known closure was going to happen and people left in areas of potential danger of psychological emotion and stress. My supervisor chose not to be there the day of the townhall while I knew the exit doors and had a screwdriver on hand just in case. I stayed close by and had my staff close to the door. Just months prior there was an office attack at another company in Florida. A social media friend of mine son was killed during that encounter and that stuck with me leading into the day. You do not know what people will do. Security should have been hired for the retail stories at the very least knowing the intensely emotional aspects of a bride and her wedding day. I read the stories of what those employees had to do to calm and luckily to my knowledge no one was physically harmed or injured. Emotionally we all were. I think of what I missed by those who saw the “We’re Back” on social media. I only saw it on their website afterwards. The emotional response others saw is proof that we are all lucky that in that decision there was no violence.

The day before we went into the office when discussions were needed to be had. Talks of buyers were overviewed. Deals being worked on and deals falling through. As some looked at the company and looked at the books, most passed on it while it was said that they can wait it out knowing it will be cheaper to buy if they wait a minute. Knowing one of the buyers involved in that process still leads me to my personal belief considering the known history. I’d have to defer to Wikipedia on that one. I’d say if anyone was looking to get Alfred Angelo pennies on the dollar at the cost of brides and weddings, then they probably shouldn’t be looking in the Bridal market anyways.

There was a last ditch buying effort that they were waiting to see that day if it would go through. We were on cash at that point anyways and even the advertising was reflective on that (zero responsibility on that one) knowing I had to even tell my off-site creative director everything going on knowing she was also not contacted and told things. I told her everything and it was important and fair to her off-site. That is how our working relationship was when there was/is tremendous respect on how to treat coworkers and have healthy working relationships.

The deal didn’t go through and conversations were had that could be heard by many outside that room. “At least they will have closure” when talking about their final paycheck. Unmistakable as people newly hired were in positions just as much as walls are very thin (that definitely factors later in life). Where we seat ourselves is very important in conversation. I know…HR red flags…that quote came from HR of trying to bring closure to the situation while laughter was heard in that room. It never sat well with me knowing feet and miles apart on how to deal with that situation of others knowing and others not. It ended afterwards and I was the only one left in marketing as everyone went home while I waited to hear what happened. Conversations had privately where they saw themselves in me and talked of being a father figure. Internally I thought, “You are a bad parent.” before speaking that this job was hard and that most of us were secretly looking for jobs anyways. The next day was what it was abandoned parents and do what had to be done. I do not fault a single person who didn’t know the whole story and question others. I am only finding piees then and there and painting a discussion.

I thought afterwards about the "We're Back" aspect of the site going back online. It was common knowledge in the company that e-commerce was something that needed to be looked into but we lacked the structure to do it properly as we stream-lined Angelo Express in produced inventory warehoused based on best sellers.
Considering who was involved in the buying process and the brokerage aspect behind it (or lack there of), I cannot help but wonder since cost-cutting measures were a priority all around, was the layoff of every single physical person of Alfred Angelo a way to switch over to the e-commerce side of things without the extra cost of personnel?

Bridal is intimate and it is very personal. The parties behind that know it to be a sacred day and the practice of tradition to modern standards is important to address. That feeling of trying on the dress for the first time is never love at first fit and it takes time. I wonder if the Postal Service is capable of handling that burden of finding your dream dress in that regard. Shipping costs and insurance beyond belief in that regard.

I think about things often when it comes to Alfred Angelo and it never sat well for me on it. I wrote before stating where licensing was broken on my regard and there was obvious attempts to circumvent that problem with their new site removing my works knowing someone was paying attention in signed contracts. I like to think I stood my ground for brides, vendors, wholesale accounts and employees and I still do so knowing I invested my dream into yours. The history of the employees afterwards and the day of closure shows exactly that there are many people that believed in the wedding day first and they put their lives to the side to make sure they could do what they could. In my way I've done the same knowing it has been a hard road since that may or may not be connected.

There is a private AA (Alfred Angelo) group on Facebook that was started shortly after. Never really anything of importance said there and I've tried here and there to get people to talk. No one really does unless I've provoked a serious conversation. I've tried to even help knowing they too are family, but I'll never forget that boardroom meeting and what was being spun in that spinning wheel of mis-information. I leave this section with saying I indirectly-directly called out the people who knew and still to this day do not say anything. Private AA meetings where I have earned my 5 year token after the fact.

PRO TIP: WHAT TO DO WHEN INVESTMENTS CRASH

Whatever we do involves time and patience to have it nurture and grow. It comes from love and/or duty. Most things are never perfect right out the gate and takes time to learn what does and does not work. To get to that knowledge and to try to finesse it is not an instant fix solution. Everything is learned and brought to life by shadows dark and gold alike. The golden rule in that arena is always going to be about perspective of the situation, not just from your own but requires to look at things from the experience of others. Early on that is always important to teach in development and strengthen as a gold standard to be reached. If able to triangulate the points of contact, there is the possibility that rational based decisions can be made from understanding empathy.

I suppose for I, 3 years predominantly working for a company under those conditions was pretty detrimental to how to view trust. Wage Gap issues understood at this point from multiple areas of contact and not all written here. Each one approached respective of observation and understanding to come to critical solutions. Empathy is there every day knowing bills have to be paid. Unemployment is color-blind. Empathy is associative at first before getting to know people. As we group in commonality, it is always advised to branch out for further perspective. It is never a requirement and always a personal choice based on comfort levels and personal shadows.

Unemployed for the first time in my life, I enjoyed the fact that I was not going into high stress environments every day while the high stress environment of job searching and keeping a roof over my head. Being laid-off is always psychologically is demanding and completely different from termination. “From no fault of my own…” as the recommendation letter provided on our last day started…I was laid-off. I can only imagine the increase of stress of the situation with children where it boils down to we don’t know if we are going to make it or not. The bride thought in the back of my mind and still to this day, I didn’t work in the retail stores. I worked in corporate. Survival kicked in and always being underpaid, I didn’t have much in savings where even today I have zero retirement to my name.

We were all allowed non-contested unemployment benefits which was a first for me. COBRA was offered but I couldn’t afford it as that jumps to 5-600 dollars a month. It would not be until 2019 that I’d have the ability to pay for health insurance again knowing health at the time was also important to me. The SNAP program (food stamps) was new as every little bit counts. It is about 200-250 a month per individual. The math on that is insane but we are grateful for anything while others pass judgement on “They should be appreciative of what they get.” A false notion that either unemployment of food benefits detrimentally hurts others who have never been on the program, unemployment is always paid into by each and everyone of us paycheck-to-paycheck. The notion of “They are just sitting around doing nothing.” has been heard enough to know that every time that is said in any capacity, it is an individual kicking someone when they are at low-points not fully understanding the case-by-case scenario of why they are there to begin with. “Plenty of work out there…” Yup…there is but it is incredibly difficult to find a marriage based on respect, understanding and stability.

When my marriage with Alfred Angelo ended in 2017, My professional career never bounced back. “Grateful for the work.”, it has been a constant scrubbing of the work experience ever since knowing life lessons and built experiences had in every opportunity. “I’m grateful to afford living.” Before landing a contract position in late December 2017. I hollar’ed to over 300 companies and experienced the hourly wage value of myself exponentially decreased when the math of salary is combined by various factors incredibly lowering the standard that I assume others would think is acceptable and was taught to me then but never training in that arena. As I made the decision to focus on the drivers of other vehicles while I hung out on the passenger side, my own car remained in parked during this time from 2014 to 2017. The check engine was there and routinely worked on in written form as visually that was focused on detailing the other person’s car. I did not hear back from most of those companies as the impersonal aspect of online company dating leaves so many options that people swipe left or right instantly. It is never cruise control on that travel.

In a return to form (not that I gave up any artistic aspect of myself), I returned to focus on myself and pick myself back up somehow. I dusted off my old Mac that I purchased in Atlanta, rebuilt it a bit and began to resolve the looming “I don’t have a personal website” problem while I worked with creating a modified PDF version of my old one with the major addition of AA and Disney wondering if that is a good thing or a bad thing at this point. I collected what I could of my files and writings and got cracking on putting things together. I had the help along the way from former co-workers as we were all on the same road map to new adventures. Predominantly that help was from one of my designers and the retired former Chief Creative Officer who I maintained contact with after she left the company around 2016.

Having never really compiled my work all into one place, but maintained it well on other services, I started to remember the aspects of myself that always came from the frugal aspect of paychecks combined with imagination of growing into the world on multiple fronts. When looking back and with my experience of having to constantly downsize at Alfred Angelo, I do have a low-brow knack at times to look for simple solutions. The surprise is always that when branched out there is so many different aspects that counter that argument of low brow. It depends on how you approach it. Familiar on the other side, often I have considered the massive budgets of fashion photography in comparison and I see waste being had for artwork that ultimately gets thrown away each month. My production budget definitely increase from my own means but absolutely nothing in comparison to on-site and caliber of teams/talent. Those who did work with us at AA all had unknown talents ready on-hand but there does comes a point you get what you pay for. That is especially in time management expectations. That annual schedule I was working on was very important. Hiring more people would of absolutely had helped but lesson learned on where to draw lines in the future.

I do what I can with what I can. I’ve learned from what I’ve seen. I draw inspiration from what came before in order to create something possibly new but also familiar.
I mold all of my life experiences into something new within the boundaries that I am afforded in society from my own class status. It took a minute for me to see that when creating my own website in July/August 2017 via Squarespace. Remembering where my focus was I started investing back in my experience to really discover how to approach what is a vanitas of a life in a stand-still. The idea behind it was an introduction at first and an education of myself on what is constantly self-learned and worked on daily. Templates make things so much easier than what Dreamweaver was (the program not the show). That web design class back in 2003 was in dark time of respect what came before. Constant learnin’ is always important as those hyphened positions start getting really long in the name. A chance to start over and rebuilt while building with no added income coming in for what would be 6 months of slowly beginning to live off credit cards that were instantly began to be paid back down once I got hired 6 months later in fixed-term employment.

The starving artist had been around for my entire adult life. Never a walk in the park and the time gave me a chance to rework images, concepts and ideas. Namely “Brave New Secrets” that was always worked on here and there continually. That psychological journey to golden shadows never comes easy and still at the time worlds apart knowing job first which proved difficult in South Florida and elsewhere.

The pro tip for this section is when you give so much of yourself to others, it is perfectly healthy to step back, take the time to process and rebuild yourself before rebuilding/strengthening others. Others will help you along the way when either asked or noticed. In my first encounter with unemployment benefits and SNAP cards, there was no quick direct judgments towards me. Thankfully that was due to benefits now being used through a debit card instead of other noticeable features where WIC and others areas come with other forms. Those benefits are color-blind from the work we have done and paid into. I know judgment exists in the world on this matters, but the lesson is always to be understanding of other people who do or do not share their stories. They do not have to. What is in people’s shopping cart is important knowing the price of food and what is cheaper at times. It is also an opportunity to maybe treat yourself to something maybe in the 5-7 dollar range splurging your entire daily budget on a treat. Cooking courses would be fantastic to incorporate into the SNAP and food based programs where budgets can be tightened and skillsets earned to help alleviate the potential of hunger and budget stretching. A cookbook for sure already there somewhere of people making ends meet. Until then “Grab the manager specials”, “Stock-up on the B1G1” and “Consider the 10 for $10”.

For me during this time, judgment was expected and I imagine those on the outside are entitled to be angry or understanding. Their days were affected also while so was my life and around the 1,100 days of attempting a dream and connecting with every bride in aspirations. The responsibility I feel comes from believing in the idea of marriage in any regard and this is me being intimate knowing my life was put to good use in that time of connection.

I stayed in Florida for the next 5 months job searching with no opportunity or interview that occurred. I went on a trip that was paid for well before things happened and when it was time, I packed up my stuff in my Boca apartment and went back home to Savannah with no job. To stay there was not longer cost effective for me to afford living on my own and the dogs and I were off. Perpetual Summer ended and within the first week back it actually snowed and stuck in Savannah for the first time since 1989: the year we moved there from Puerto Rico. A refreshing change of seasons knowing warmth provided while left in the cold. Beauty in things that were changing during that fall of Bridal. Childhood memory connected with adult experience of the time spent in reflection. Sometimes we have homes to go back to when need be. This was the first time since undergrad that I had to do that.

11. Return To The Kitchen. Repeat Step 1 with Some New Notes.

“Alright Philip. We need a job. Anything. Something. Stuff put in storage and welcomed home by friends of ole to help load things in. We said our good-byes and we have to proceed. I’m home for now. Short-lived as I need work. A friend and Sister offered up working part-time. A driver of flowers. It is something. Gets money in but I am not working Christmas.” Friends everywhere.

I came up to stay temporarily at a past of mine to get money in and reconnect. Always friends and always respect when I left the city the first time. Flowers a form of payment after the snow. It got money in and I am sure my awkwardness was noticed pretty quickly. Over the years known to be shyer and more private and people break me out of it. I was thankful for it and it helped. Friends last a long time and I hope everyone understands why I don’t talk or reach out. It is not because I didn’t want to.

On one of my deliveries I received a phone call from a recruiter about a position. I pulled over knowing I’m scared to death of oversized vehicles and that probably comes from being taught “6 inches from death” when given the keys to the car when I was younger. That one stuck for those telling people to not be distracted. Scars a bit, but affective. That image factors in fictionally later in works I keep off the digital realm. I don’t have escapism but I do love that I am a visual artist while also a sound designer with a sounding board. Touch is the only thing that keeps us grounded knowing without it there is no connection. Touch is relative to perspective.

The call went well and we proceeded with going from there excited someone was taking a chance on me finally. I promised to leave the bullet points alone on this one but at the same time I am aware of what has happened from here on out and that comes with zero legal recourse of disclosure but always my discretion on what is and is not proper to divulge. I’m learning as I go and when cards stacked against me I will still reach for the moral high ground knowing what life lesson I heard in the first EEOC office that I never wrote down digitally or handwritten. (We don’t always recount our life experiences and catching up after-the-fact is either retaliation or a blind-sight of knowing what you did) I’m a known artist, author and human. All of this was unnecessary and I pull from 2010 of basis…I pull from undergrad…I pull from high school…I pull from middle school…I pull from elementary school…I stopped at the WHAM! aspect before being thrown for a loop on my first live theater experience wondering how that factored in unknowingly in life and my earliest memory of questioning things. I know I’m protective and I know what I went up against or tried to survive is the better term for it. I understand others know how protective I am and where we drawn the line. My experience cost me trying to end my life and from this point on the questions prior exist but I am of sound mind knowing what I will discuss.

I think of Manderella moments knowing it was both a coping and aspirational aspect. Was it that carriage ride knowing once engaged and never could afford the 10,000 dollar trip on that knowing that the hand-selected princess never got her due while I over-compensated for positions and responsibility? Was it Italy? When finally I could breathe on personal and professional fronts to return back to my focus of completion with unexplained answers? A trip inspired by the world travel of others as well as a course determined long before from birth right. Was it the basement of day in and out of disrespect of the highest regard when personal connections matter of 20 years knowing someone? I was taught there by others that directed me and pointed me in directions. Still contend historic preservation value there but things change over time. I’d look at the boiling point for consideration. An opportunity to advance had and not selected only to find out 2 days later from the time of sending that the rejection email happened the same time as other events. If only I had saw that sooner knowing what happened during that time knowing who we talk on he phone down my scrubbed stairs matter after meetings. That past not forgotten and fun things of respect on those stairs. Daggers placed probably ring true more than you think.

Regardless of that answer, I fought my way to that interview beyond the established rules of rescheduling and others calling out. A wardrobe worn of a personal story knowing I’ll always try my best to remember who I wanted to be and what I was trying to protect knowing 13 years may not be enough experience for one position but when repeated behavior occurs I was perfect for the position knowing now and then the liability of discardment. We always value our assets and visibility. I learned that from Disney and my own brand on what does and does not draw a crowd. We make the best during COVID, but that comes later. My story is nothing in comparison to others writing their stories. With great influence comes eventually you will get caught. Where are we now 3 years known attack in behavior proven at another company. Maybe it was Paris? I’ve masked my emotions on the matter but open to letters. I haven’t written about that yet. New Orleans for my 40th thinking of my conception as a birthday…never got to happen due to events of unemployment and completely obvious retaliation as noted by the state of Georgia where compliance will be educated on the experience.

Privilege though… So many life memories private and unshared. As I stroke the keyboards I wonder what happens in this scenario knowing it was agreed upon by others and translates in multiple areas. What gets recorded? I try to understand what I can aware that all I can do is teach others to be better knowing not everyone can or would read. I am very long -winded and I know I was being taught appropriately to sum it up in my education. There is me as a student and there is me wishing I had a team knowing I had one before. The quick aspect never works. “There are no short-cuts” (Do your sound design research) and the slow game of manipulation of others has created something that is not necessary fun but at the same time scientific knowing what is never fun in proving beyond a reasonable doubt that a company broke international law, basic intelligence and used emotion to factor in their decisions afterwards and then. They will say sympathy but I defer to their expertise know “they have been here before”. That hostile work environment was always a breach of privilege where they reacted in real time and never ever will I back down from their manipulation then, what they thought they got away with, what they introduced to another company completely possibly explainable of an open window or a corporate attacks. Beyond a reasonable doubt at the first location with an un-written factor of credit scores involved after, 3 years later in that regard was enough. Brought into international waters without proper sailor sea legs. known access points were found before getting into the entertainment value of learning about one’s life and what to do with it. Prove. Test. Challenge. In 7th grade I went against most of the 8th grade male class when attacked. Black-eye by a women in the end with zero prejudice. How do you think that translates in adulthood and when someon steered an argument that is fundamentally not I. Nay I say and I told your company to have compassion in unsearchable areas and very vocal offices. The fun part has always been on I’ve never hid any of my assets and I happened to come across things growing in the bushes. So random and also not explained outside of visual acuity of the corner of my eye. A Tinman story of 7th grade telling you every piece of paper held up is important. What you do is up to you but your actions created a never again moment that I have yet to figure out while others have worked it in. I supposed the best aspect is I never have a portrait of you to put on the internet. We never knew each other like that and definitely not common ground. My books half read paid off. Months later I left every aspect of you. I left everything. Months after that I fought my way back after drowning. Underwater we build worlds. What happens when you have to break the PG-13 and say Dafuq? to make it stop. (A word that echoes in meaning) Studio settings important. I am way more protective than the nuclear family aspect. Empathy and commonality is shown knowing we are all looking for a chance for a family and protection and emotional support. As my family dreams perished knowing you know what happened and what I had, please never ever talk to me about the family you were afforded unless you want to talk about the family I lost.

My personal life is not for you to explore and if it is you have to adhere to training and understanding. First rule of surveillance is we do not talk about surveillance. We definitely don’t trump charges in internal reviews where I was never internal and a corporate guest of the house knowing my internal did not protect and put company value over my own. I’ve grown accustomed to a life now where #8 factors knowing digitally that is recorded elsewhere by other companies. I see what is happening hoping those on either side know now what has happened. There is hope and there is a plea. Beyond a reasonable doubt knowing what has happened. Every day I’ve been modified digitally knowing I can lose more again everyday knowing it is not an uncommon story at this point on either side. I thank you for letting me have this avenue knowing even yesterday I’d never approach this page it was done. To get to a thesis of what would be a master class on my own is to talk about history and growing from there from workplace education. (completely by-pass any class that tells you it is self-discovery and they collect a paycheck of non-information or guidance.) #wasteofmoney

I remember why I quit my painting major. It wasn’t completely because I didn’t want a career although I still say there is a marketing value to it. the ones I kept are important but I grew tired of learning other‘s techniques and trying to be them. “Who are you to tell me what is good art?” was my reasoning knowing back then it was a solid argument before finding out where art moved to in branding and influence. Copy the past or learn from it is how I approached it. That connection to fine art never changed and that will always be important. Career in graphic design but if you want to move up you have to have vision or understanding. To include an image is to talk about why and that goes from basic structure or real world talks of what has already been introduced to market. There is a bridge to be had and the principle align in that regard. I’ve always been a promoter of individuality but you have to respect the past and know what has happened and what will before you find your voice. Currents in that regard knowing I’ve always thought of this as art. I’ve written long before I entered the fine art photography world. What is and isn’t considered good art is based on popular interest. I defer to answering my own question of major knowing how you market yourself is everything. I understand the aspect of people unwantedly coming onto my social media and my private website. So many levels of invasion there that was proven to try to damage me. It is not without a reasonable doubt and was not tolerated and should not be excused. That comes in respect of Remus, both on the Roman side and from the stolen aspect of the other territory where it is a password of understanding. Boundaries were crossed and in this regard I am not sure what to do. Trust in areas. Remus built his ground and is not putting up with this. No more exploitation in this regard. Your name is not going to let that happen knowing no brother of that life experience is ever going to put up with that. Maybe a history there, but brothers do not simply kill each other. Something happened knowing never will my brother or family attack me for exploring boundaries. I’ve spent 3 years knowing for a fact that my life was ripped apart and my assets. That Rome aspect is not going to happen in this regard. Have you considered that ion the other side? A plea from 3 years ago is not going to be an understanding 3 years later. Especially after a suicide attempt from your actions directly or indirectly. I just wanted to move on. The same with Alfred Angelo.

I will always question that desire to monitor my computer alone at Alfred Angelo. Was that a bridge to the slamming of a keyboard in from of other co-workers when I locked out my social media while I listened to what was going on? That was a Spanish side of me knowing what I heard prior and read knowing that factored in on the game of chess and doors opened and closed. I saw the answer socially knowing I did not lose my job as you never had an HR department without bringing Bosch into it after a heart-to-heart in that department or you flat out lied that day and the next while I panicked knowing the invasiveness of apps prior and recorded. That one sick day will be answered for knowing I was not paid for it (the price of fixed-term and contract) , I asked accordingly for it the day of via email and text message knowing I couldn’t sleep and found that conversation evasive knowing it was not the first and screen shot it now on an older phone. The rest is up to my judgement while you recorded keystrokes by your command, I remember you spoke to a lawyer after you went for it and still harassed my mother indirectly in your attacks. My last plea was leave my fucking mother alone knowing where that lays and who you tried to hide behind. I have zero sympathy in what is proven in your technique knowing others are watching in other regard. None. Ever. Apps on that regard are never weaponized in the workplace and I’ll pamper you on that one. Grab your bib…this is the real world. Knowing what I know knowing I’ve always had more than I can afford with me or against me.

Fixed-Term Employment. Definitions (4 year limit before required to on-board)
Based on prior work history, I was adamant on absolutely no photography in that pay bracket with a breakdown of why and pricing structures of industry standard which was agreed upon and noted by Randstad and Freud senior managers.
No paid sick days.
Perpetually job searching for security.
Trip to the Dentist.
Senior Management bad-mouthing contract/fixed-term Employees and on-boarded staff.
Repeatedly reported to Randstad the language said about myself and others. Was told if not directly said to me there is nothing they could do. Each time it came from a place of working with Randstad before working with the contract company to resolve with Randstad first and build relationships with them. This evolved to basically (Put up or Shut Up)
Contract employment company refused to provide copy of contract when requested early on.
Contracted employer company failed to send any document to be signed by a Randstad employee through their company before going to employee.
Contract employment company failed to investigate/litigate claims of harassment/threats of physical harm and did not follow up on emails once I self-removed myself from a situation involving repeated illegal activities and civil rights violations.
One Sick day Un-paid, 1 week finally in an apartment of my own
< I never disclosed my sexuality when GRINDR definitely factors into this story>
Supervisor slamming of the keyboard the next day.
Faked the internet on sounding like I was fired based on day off events before going into the office where internet rang true that day.
-Conversations with Randstad from suggestion of talk with Supervisor on other’s activities, contacts and provable fear
Supervisor conversations where they brought in Finished Art into it with specifics (was flat out told they were not on-boarding, never asked for it and zero reason for Finished Art to be mentioned. (Sidenote - They on-boarded someone in the same department with a different skillset anyways during this time bypassing all fixed-term employees of service prior)
(So much interaction not repeating)
The passing of the former owner of Finished Art. Attending a wake/service. (after they were already mentioned prior) after leaving 30 minutes earlier than asked when bad-mouthed indirectly 20-25 feet away (a regular occurrence)
(So much more interaction not repeating)
-Holding a paper while bat swung 20-25 feet away talking of old school tactics and visiting places of residence
-Instantly called Randstad in panic on way home, fear of harm to myself and others. Unsure to call cops or what to do.
-They moved said employee the next day and it was not spoken until later that I contacted Randstad about the incident. Not plausible that Randstad reached out to them.
-testing of them reading text message (I don’t feel comfortable talking to a lawyer) - Confirmed
-testing them on behind the scenes of my website. Conversations while a modification on my phone.) -Confirmed
-asked to be moved for reasonable accommodation citing I was hearing conversations from Supervisor’s office. Was offer a place closer to hers which would have defeated the purpose. This was never accommodated
-Heard conversations prior of them considering letting me work from home (never discussed with me) before that never occurred because “He is reacting in real time”.
- between these instances does that confirm the phone knowing there was much more?

-Birthday plans (theirs)
-Contacted lawyer’s office on my lunch-break (Wait today is your birthday?) <off-site and in the parking garage>
-Memories of Came back to “The Transcript is in” where they proceeded to line-by-line discuss my law office phone call

Out of order memories
-”You can’t just trump charges”
-”Even Recorded keystrokes…”
-”Do it…” (in regards to pulling ID card info/timing after supervisor spoke with lawyer)
-”There was nothing in his email….”
-”We will do it after (market?)…”
-There is the product guide..no one wants to do that anyways”

Talks of background checks in the office. “I did my research…”

Birthday evening after my dinner, a writing of resignation and 2 weeks notice sent to Randstad. Verbially spoken to my mother on the phone and spoke with Randstad prior to entry the next day to work and said hold off on forwarding that and I’ll handle it internally as I always reached out to support and provide.
-Upon entry to the office, solemn. Each department “She did this” “He is trying to do the right thing but I can’t work with him”. Meeting in supervisor’s office of them discussing either my private account email or my transcribed voice of a private phone call with my mother.
-Refusing to plug in my phone to charge which is the only thing it could have done anyways, I was getting a major sense of the technology at that point. Listened long enough as I made sure over the months of what I was learning, documenting and reporting. Printed out my 2-weeks notice. “Said goodbye to a co-worker and said I am giving myself a birthday present where she said, “I know what you have been going through.” and requested to give it to them and a brief talk about it. 2 weeks is approved termination of contract according to early in term conversations and I was given the option of what do I want to do. I said it was best for me to leave now and proclaimed “I want my privacy back.” No scene and I was able to collect my things. I gave the password to the laptop when asked knowing there was nothing there and never was. Was politely walked out the door by the supervisor to never have my phone connected to a Bosch laptop again.

I go home. I pass out (sleep) for a couple hours. I try to make it to Macon that evening to make it home to Savannah. I become foggy and had to pull over and buy a charger for direction. Mental shut down was occurring from months of retaining environment and information and being out of that scene. I make it to Macon and ask to be driven to Savannah. I sleep again in the back seat not to wake up until I get home. Short greetings and back to bed. The following day I began attempting to report to law officials.

(So much more interaction not repeating yet)

In violation of both companies breaches of contracts, I own a legal right to the photography on almost all packaging and in-store displays in market since 2019 before proceeding into bringing this to a boil. This would open up the door for complete disclosure in whistleblowing and testimony.

I’ve proven to handle myself in class when I refer to anything of my life to reflect and make it clear that I’ve always tried to find beauty in the struggle and to help others. Human aspect to consider but when rebuilding and when resorting to art and escapism. It comes from science, faith and the soul to reclaim, transform and make things better for us all.

Never. EVER. did I talk about my mother at the office except of where she works maybe once and what I learned from women from a place of respect and commonality. I didn’t talk much if at all except maybe here and there that progressively went to almost zero personal information for months leading up to Nov.2, 2018. I can probably list the minimum that was disclosed early on and 100% when we get to a boil you touched upon sacred grounds.

12. Bring To A Boil And Let It Simmer for 20

Made with Pure Love…
The Return of something bigger.
What happens when a company with a grudge enters into a new place of work with that kind of intel and capabilities and then goes into hearing threats against everyone and everything I loved and care? No plausible deniability and went straight to HR the minute I heard it come in.

plau·si·ble /ˈplôzəb(ə)l/ adjective (Definitions from Oxford Languages)
1. (of an argument or statement) seeming reasonable or probable.

The phrase "beyond a reasonable doubt" means that the evidence presented and the arguments put forward by the prosecution establish the defendant's guilt so clearly that they must be accepted as fact by any rational person. (https://www.investopedia.com/terms/r/reasonable-doubt.asp)

I heard the phrase “Plausible Deniability” at PureRED to know that it is important to be accurate and then fact-checked. As it was proven without a reasonable doubt at Freud of what they were capable of doing, it 100% verifiable that those in position of surveillance acted in regards tin the same manner of Freud experience. Has that occurred 3 years later at this point? A signed NDA at this organization, but failure of the company to protect and in regards to them defrauding The State of Georgia at the very least opens the door to go into some details, but I refrain and use best judgement. Once one phone-call where stated, “They are going to have a bigger problem if they are still on my phone.” remembered and I hope it was heard well before you talk about “sounds like he is having a nervous breakdown” before we get into “oh she found it.”

“Oh…he knows” as someone walked by who obviously was not helping and going to be a 3rd party from here out. Yes…you will be subpoenaed again if you ever were the first time. No leaking this. You will have to wait. Grab a tray and enjoy the food for thought.

New job actually was a refreshing start to rebuild after getting to zero. I applied for unemployment against Randstad as they were my employer and not Freud.

A REFLECTION

Moved this to its appropriate timeline. I’ll leave the words written yesterday and mentally work my way into it knowing it deals with a suicide attempt. If struggling, please reach out to the suicide hotline, 800-273-8255 (caution…your calls may be monitored and recorded) - 3/29/2022

When Finished Art entered vocally into my contract position and my job post-Randstad afterwards, I was aware at first and lost it the second time. Details had. From November to December 2018 I started looking for others jobs when I could. rebuild where I can. Ask for help financially of both my father and from local churches to keep a roof over my head. I sent my resume to Finished Art at one point. I just looked it up and it was back in November 2017 after Alfred Angelo went under and was looking for a job. Had to follow-up a week later and got a response of being kept in mind and the top of the pile. I reached out to another former co-worker to listen to advice of, “Come back if you are serious, but don’t come back unless you plan to stay.” knowing I needed a job and a return home was not exactly what I wanted. Loyalty there and was welcoming and advisory. I thought about it knowing we returning could have been approached from an amazing benefit of experience that the agency just does not have with major room for expansion. The door was open but also the “I didn’t want to go backward part” was important knowing I am in new unemployed territory.

I remember at Freud the talks of judgement about being unemployed for 6-months. They commented on my smoke breaks that I did maybe once or twice a day for 7 minutes and back in outside of my lunch where I deducted my time accordingly to compensate. “But he smokes…” Yeah…also protected but I never said that without going into what else was protected from office gossip. I get the smell knowing second-hand washer and dryers do that. They were still a gift and I worked with what I had. That 6 months though…yeah…hearing that was hard to see the judgement on me. Comes with the territory of association of the company towards the end but never a fault of mine and I worked my ass off. So many of us did. There was words of support though as people talked. I still retain compassion was had in some regards on either side.

I was doing alright in the beginning and even was exploring the longevity of employment at PureRED. When they came in I went straight to HR and then days later nothing before it definitely was a determining factor of make sure for sure knowing one does not make that up for anything and I know what I swore to later to be explored. That later an opportunity I might not of even of been afforded had things played different.

Months between and different lives. PureRED was vocal and invasive in what was heard. “He knows his psychology.” “Truth of the Day” Both those statements go straight into “Ugly Simple Truths” before <they knew how to attack him> in that regard. That blog was not public since Atlanta 1.0. (It has now been attacked and someone deleted it but fortunately I retain my produced bound version of it and perhaps even my digital files if I dare put my external hard-drive back in. “What is the common denominator here?” as days in and days out. “They are going after his best friend.” “Mooooommmmm…” (Spoken to quiet her down knowing the calls were all being listened to and protecting her from her saying anything on the phone that others found offensive which is where that was going.) “Every version of his website…” “They can get past the firewalls…” “The EEOC comments…” All new in that world and completely different from what I experienced at Freud/Diablo(same company). “BLLLLAAACCCKKKK” reiterated and known that we are going to a hotel room with that quote. They thought to all wear black one day during the series of them forming their own opinions in things they never should of had access to. I pulled out of my closet the closest I had to black to wear that day in silence. It was more grey or charcoal, but it was noticed as others did the same. “Russian roulette” was said when it was iterated “this is becoming a mental health issue” and they knew when they said “thats a HiPPAA violation” and I imagine they heard when I called the Suicide Hotline in the Walmart parking lot off-site in Stone Mountain. Surely when you hear that web-browsing is tracted to be pre-emptive they would have known I was looking it up and silently struggling while staying strong every day. It was more important than before for me to retain anything and everything I could as it was always not just about me but everyone else.

”What’s the common denominator?” was spoken by others when daily things were being deducted. Same rule applied here that I didn’t talk much and didn’t reveal much personally. Definitely not sexuality. “They outed him.” echoes along the lines of “I can’t help but think we stole this from him.” “You couldn’t wait to leak it?” “They got him. He got them.” Back-forth-back-forth. Done? Hope? Fear? The website was always modified just about every day because at the price point I was brought in was not what I should have been making and was even not even the full extent of their $15←$18 dollar range. Thought it was over but not like anyone was talking to me directly about it. “Poor guy no one can even call and check up on him.” They wanted to say that their was another employee lawsuit but way too many specifics and that is where the plausible deniability comments they were making were heading but would still fall under why was that employee’s case even discussed in the office while answering the question of statement of ,”She should have sent him home.” “Negligence at best.” “At least it will give him enough money to fix his teeth.” Those phrases came from the company lawyer. Talks and mentions of other companies outside the umbrella of who PureRED works for. Slowly but also swiftly I stopped talking on the phone knowing I was protecting everyone on my phone by not reaching out. It was important that things could hop and was proven. I couldn’t talk to most if I tried and the carry-over from one company into the next made sure to watch my mouth which always is going to be a question on when I was testing and when I knew for sure. You make sure when it comes to statements like that. That surety never goes away after an experience like that and proven to have PureRED act on conversations of phones not my own.

Compassion was met when I approached a supervisor and asked them to listen to confirm what I was very much hearing in the newly established division of PureRED. Those Ruby Slippers where what sparked the entry point as someone thought I could have been attacked because I correctly guessed their new client during the interview process and confirmed privately when they said “worst kept secret” in that regard. That went swiftly into “What does he smell like today?” To other comments of smell before I walk by and they say “Oh not you”. Knowing I never asked and wasn’t talking to most of these people. Ice to the hand to combat panic attack. A good method to keep one grounded. I am thankful for the talk. “There’s allot of money riding on this.”

I looked up whistleblowing on the employee computer. “Burn him” said by another shortly afterwards. When it came to “He lied” is still at that point them letting things fly without direct contact to me. “When there is smoke there is fire.” A phrase said by them in the midway point. The mention of Finished Art was what broke me and I couldn’t stay anymore and asked to leave for the day. Probably never should have been allowed to drive but I maintain pretty well visibly. That was Feb 21, 2019. I think I heard out the door “He’s gonna run.” But I’d say that one is more paraphrased. Probably shouldn’t of gone over to Finished Art but I was protecting others and I was heartbroken. In my head I thought about all of this past year never could have happened if I had gotten the Coca-Cola position I applied to and interviewed for. If it wasn’t interfered with how much of this never would had happened or how much was this going on prior and opportunity was seen and taken by others? I went to them with hope of what a company was, facing what had happened and pleading in all the reserve I had at the time. It was an eye-to-eye where later that day could call in question. I was composed, I was buzzed in, I had a heart-to-heart with the president of the company pleading for them to stop knowing they were verbally trying to go after my mother. I walkd around and greeted everyone in the office after asking if I could. It was normal practice when I stop in. Pleasure with everyone and I needed to be surrounded by a functional work environment and people I considered family for 8 years. At least I could let people here that I was welcomed and there was no issues. From above the president met with the front door assistant where a rolodex and entered into the confernece room with the door closed. I left politely and then just tried to get home. I was being witness intimidated and if that is what happened then the psychological factor was affected enough to say protect everyone and perhaps if I was the cause of other people being in that level of surveillance then perhaps if they got what they wanted then others would be ok and it would stop.

(I reserve the right to not go into what was written elsewhere for this section. It has been latched onto the fate of “Jellyfish”.)

We go to the hospital knowing what had happened and checked in. Assessment given by medical professionals before hand. As things were read over and discussed, I was adamant about my phone being turned off early in that hospital visit and demanded it to be removed from the room once we went into privacy and confidential information. It was not going near me now wondering the other access point. When I was moved to another room and supervised. Law enforcement I assume is standard protocol in that scenario. “Can’t just show up at a place of business.” heard that day there by one of them. I didn’t understand it as the only place that would have been was Finished Art and I was let in and approached everyone professionally and with greetings. That comment came from law enforcement and not mistaken as I held on at the time for as long as I could.

Another room where bed, televisions and supervision were had. Due to procedure, not even allowed to use the bathroom by myself and understood. I was calm and I vaguely remember signing something or being questioned in another room. Prior the mind went into places that do not make sense and are privately protected on what occurred. Thoughts of an explanation of some of the things mentioned above. Not sure. I was alone and no one was with me. I went into what details I could and claimed what I could no longer of sound mind at the time. I believe I held on and was as truthful as I could be. If that actually occurred then legally it would never hold up in court or be used to further investigation. In my best at the time, I condemned the right people in allegations. No double jeopardy problem there if they so thought that would protect them. No sound mind or witness, no follow through? Only a look at what happened and the truth behind it. That can be investigated as should the day I finally had insurance since Alfred Angelo and the doctor’s office I went to to get caught up in a physical.

With Finished Art, it was years removed professionally and a begging at the end. Donna would have never allowed that and I think of them. I think of my mother. I thought of my mother on that last day. Thinking how fucking dare you in what was proven at two places of employment knowing that is where they where we are at in non-committed employment relationships. You were caught the day I left November 2nd, 2018 at the very least knowing it was proved prior. You continued to attack most of all. Never justification for Finished Art being discussed knowing what happened that it was not just Finished Art involved. Never had to have happened with the involvement nor was there a reason for it as the contract company was not actively employing(lies to me and those of perpetual fixed-term work after a year and constant renewal. In that contract position they ridiculed a prior member of the same company I prior worked for within that contract position and I documented it with my contract company leading up to my own allegations that pertain strictly to me. My unemployment claim for Randstad never went completely through and I questioned why email would bounce it. During the 40-ish days of PureRED, I went to the unemployment office to try to figure out why with them having no record of it. I had the timestamped emails and it was important to get in. I used their phone to discuss and ultimately used a fax machine of theirs to submit it properly with the correct time stamped email knowing I had hit the timeframe to file correctly. Freud/Diablo should of had zero involvement in my life after November 2,2018. That would had been the responsibility of Randstad to ensure and protect.

One throwing of a keyboard and “now how do we get him” has to answer for “they had him since February” Your Grindr talks down the office hallway was heard high definition some 80-90 feet away. The normal 30 was pretty much sound mind on those comments. I still wondering what sparked that uncalled for reaction to taking a non-paid sick day. It is going to haunt you as a hate crime. Regardless of sexuality, an attack on sexuality is a hate crime in any regard regardless of who does it. I listened in the office of the contract position knowing what I heard. Other employees present. I know what I saw on social media leading up to it on the day where after I pretended socially I got fired to see what would come from that. In the now and then I was in panic on either side. I asked to speak to the marketing director who while we walked to her car I was referred to Randstad’s HR while she spoke to her own to report it. The following day she said she spoke with HR. Freud does not have an HR and the closest to it is their parent company Bosch. I will always remember the first week of contract, “Welcome to Bosch.” This was in regards to what we should and shouldn’t do in the workplace and door’stopping which you were all warned about in protocol along with not using file transfer sites which I never had the capability of on my laptop.

As I ended, I ended up in a hospital-setting for the next 11 days after where it took days for my family to even be able to locate me and contact me. Missing person for several days knowing I was in the care of hospitals somewhere. My mother spoke to someone close and made sure the day of incident that PureRED gets contacted as 3 days is the minimum before people get fired. That was done the day of. When I did finally get out of the hospital setting, I tried to fill my prescriptions to find out my insurance was cut off. With humility next step was to go to work and try to get that fixed while having valid doctors paperwork and documentation. I was flanked by senior staff in a room where I was told I was let go for job abandonment (while hospitalized). They did it the third day and sent out a note in the mail I had not received. There was zero wellness check. No voicemail. No email in the 11 days I was hospitalized. Apparently their policy is leave someone for dead. They said “You understand what we had to do.” “Even with doctor’s notification?" I requested a copy of what they sent. “Its already in motion” (later proven to be very much not and dates on things sent by them prove that to not be true and reactionary

I guess you understand what I have to do to make sure that never happens again.

(Flash back to Finished Art) I remember being on employment probation for 30 days. I was applying for jobs in Australia in my downtime knowing I’d never really get one and I do not blame at all the possible firing aspect of it. I don’t blame the invasive Apple features of mirroring either or the conversations of the creative director at the time with those built up in position. Those 30 days I was on edge knowing every closed door meeting had something that remember me begging to keep my job and talking pipe dreams while listening to ridicule and saying nothing. The 30 days passed and eventually I had a first panic attack of doors closed past time and awareness. A skill-set learned then that comes from being able to hear far distances and never a fault to do so. I asked to leave, was allowed and was apologized to the following day with correction to employment and security. Never irrational then or later in life. A trained sense of knowing your environment that came from personal experience prior. I always know the difference and there is never any grey area there when spoken. Perhaps learned from my parents divorce and me painting at the kitchen table trying to block out the words in the background while hearing them. A childhood skill that shant be replicated but confirmed.

For 8 years it was mostly me and music then and now at Alfred Angelo it was a chance to use my voice while also nurturing people less experienced than I in the middle of a hurricane of transitioning in the beginning. I was learning my voice through my art in Atlanta. Secretly I was writing for a solution that could be applied to others on peace and acceptance. Never to let that work experience be passed down, I know now it did by others in some regard and misdirected towards me when firm. It was amazing to have someone to train which grew to others knowing what I would and would not allow. Broments and a Sistem where I succeeded and failed through my 3 years at Alfred Angelo.

I was never looked at for full-time hire, told they aren’t on-boarding and then on-boarded people as well. How you treat a home is never an excuse for what that was. I saw that from a first and only contract position and from a full-time position later in life. Both were ridiculed and talked about. Ageism affected the next chapter after contract work while giving no sympathy for others with medical conditions before even talking about myself and what I went through. Both those examples down upon and talked about before or after the ultimate unemployment of us all. What you say in the workplace matters. Between those two companies came to a conclusion that perhaps this is more common place than thought. My safe space of Finished Art not without its own merits of discussion

A HESITATION:

I remember my 11 days. They are protected and they are not to be talked about in any regard. Where I choose to talk about it is the number of days it took for me to be convinced to sign anything knowing the day of I refused to sign anything and was never a contention point. I remember days after of nurses trying to get me to sign something knowing I was hesitant and was not going to allow it. They were compassionate and said maybe tomorrow. Eventually it hit the point that legally they could not keep me here knowing it was well beyond the statutes as I didn’t sign anything on the voluntary/in-voluntary side until I was talked to and explained some things days into it. I admit I never knew then but did question that I was to stay based on doctors orders. I question that based on my physical. I vaguely remember an area being overrun with taking away notebooks knowing at the same time I was not afforded answers nor a conclusion. I kept my head down as you should. Never reveal anyone there and I often feel uncomfortable in even the mention of it. I defer to the there is no retroactive aspect to that knowing now it took my family days to find me and where I was to be. I imagine for others they thought maybe a joke, but for me it was 11 days of total surveillance where I could not take a shit without someone one watching let alone what came to medicine. I believe it was around day 5 or 6 that I was transferred to another area after I pulled a fire alarm declaring I needed to seek medical treatment and demanded a drug test to what was provided to me. I wasn’t provide going to a hospital nor the test. I keep the other aspects at bay knowing for at least 5-6 days it was documented I would not sign anything without understand and that is important to what happened maybe prior. I reserve the right of questioning of where I was at as friends slowly called one-by-one based off my decretion.

I’ll always wonder what happened in those 11 days outside the building with what was going on at the time. What was my employed company doing and what was the other companies doing? That is not my business but always a sign for other people to say one way or another. I can speak for the company that I did work for and that they never did a wellness check via phone, voicemail or email. That is a fact before going into other areas. That history is for others in the regard of what was known to decide that in that roulette that is something you were very well aware of. I will not talk of those 11 days but if the camera was focused on me in that regard, it definitely was a dual lens. I would remember that if I were you. Emotional responses have caused enough problems that cannot be resolved. I never want to hear you ask for sympathy after my attempted cause of death knowing it came from heartbreak and experience. Not when I had to sit and listen to the judgement and invasiveness in real-time. I’d say I’d have sympathy if that happened to you. I’d understand that once heard, things get formulated and opinions made. Imagine your whole life completely available for people like that. There are many healthy ways to get to know people. If there is sympathy it is in the fact that you didn’t know what came before and what was proven at their company and then your company. The minute they came in, I was pushed back to testing and making sure because it become completely more serious than the first time and they were well aware of how close I was getting on tolerance mentally on the matter. They saw another opportunity and that got attacked and that is what they banked on in one area. My mother’s private phone-call with me when I acknowledged what I was hearing was entirely misconstrued and later understood. That can’t be taken back. That is what happened then and that was part of the breaking point. I’ve touched on what brought that.

On day 7 or 8 I was told I got the paperwork in the mail for the unemployment hearing from the previous employer. It was very important for me to get to that meeting and days were coming. I had to push myself for at least 3 days to get out and make the appointment. Strength there. Walk for exercise. Snap back where I could and pull myself up. Still wasn’t looking up and it was more important to not really look at people. I tried the gym. Tried writing once I was finally able to get non-disposable clothes. I had the outfit I wore to the hospital and that was it until provided socks, a shirt of compassion and paper clothing that was too large for me, but I was thankful. I would go from not really eating to trying to eat here and there to forcing myself to eat. Probably could had used more time there but making the Randstad unemployment hearing was very important and I cannot go in on that phone call. The first one was cut short making it after pushing myself harder than I needed. The second one was a bit different.

On the 11th day, I was able to get out. I had only one visitor when I was finally able to get some of my clothes. Worn. Tired. It was late. Medicine/prescriptions were needed and I went to get them filled the next morning early. My insurance was cut off. I went to the office with my paperwork and tried to find compassion and understanding that a major life event occurred. The rest was already written above.

The company didn’t want my doctor’s note and considering the facts I have every reason believe they were privileged in their attempts. Illegal as they didn’t even supply my paystubs to the state of Georgia. If I didn’t have the employee handbook on hand, I never would have been able to do that as well knowing it is hurdles to be had there electronically. It was simple but never possible for any employee without that handbook. I always questioned their tax name knowing there is PureRED and then what was on tax form as Graphics Atlanta, Inc. Insurance card was PureRED. I kept that as a reminded this day about when insurance gets cut off. Is the name difference defrauding or is that just a separate entity of PureRED? I kept my insurance card knowing the same questions provided on who is who. Kroger factored into this as that is the division I was working in for PureRED and was either a grab of experience by the company that entered in. A touch of an open door already taken once or that is the last place you ever wanted to touch before going into worker compensation. In all the realms corporately, Kroger would never have it in the regards of others being “pissed off” as I present information of known manipulators.

Looking through the employee handbook, I read to find anything to get them to let me come back to work not understanding why this was an actual emergency and documentation was brought in the office when flanked. I know my clothing was at least clean and my brother shares the same one. “You understand what we had to do.”
A job was important but so was medical treatment. Especially at that time. Embarrassing to have that many people in a room knowing the four made a decision and “Even with the medical paperwork?” (paraphrased) My father and his wife paid for COBRA so I that I could continue my out-patient care which was required and was able to start getting the medication needed. As we discussed and wrote what we could I often switched between my home computer and the library a few miles away. More comforting writing on something that least was not my computer. Sent the letter certified and was met with a lawyers response saying why they wouldn’t re-instate me due to “job abandonment”.
The actual termination letter was dated in April where clearly they acted on my certified letter and escalated. I requested worker’s comp forms from the lawyer, HR and their general email submit to no reply. They then contested my unemployment which furthered delay and that lead to another unemployment meeting phonecall that I do not discuss. I won that appeal but it was after I had already lost Atlanta as a home and was back in Savannah, GA at my mother’s home knowing my father and his wife paid for me to get a Uhaul so I could at least get back to a watchful eye and try to rebuild and piece myself back together.

13. <Burnt the Sauce>…Back to School to Learn to Cook Better

What does one do when verified at multiple sources before coming home, having to give up my apartment with a move or get evicted letter. Took the or and moved. Zero dollars to my name?

(skipping a bit. BRB)

6 months off the internet and writing before it starts back up again and verified approached on. That would be well before lessons of which level we are on psychologically. “They tried this before and I won’t let this happen again” remember while I spoke to compliance a year ago on things that were never answered correctly and completely retaliatory, personal for them and non-subjective to the favoritism knowing mental health was not taken in consideration of fact proven and acted on later from their point and from an employer standpoint. It broke my heart when personal and professional mixed. They knew it and that should have been compliant a year ago. Their actions afterwards proves it affected them and I never had a “bad attitude” and she was never there during the hostile incident that I immediately reported off-site professionally before being told 2 hours later I was fired for job abandonment and it worked its way to cause to what they submitted to The state of Georgia while I made my case of owed my vacation hours and it being an insult of injury. I was supplied an agreement for that I was advised 5 days to seek with council for the ”not usually happens” scenario that the fine print in the beginning would of cleared The Savannah College of Art and Design of all chances of me suing or attacking them. I wrote back instantly with my extensive notes to the agreement that they failed to provide revisions to within 5 days of my revisions. I stand by my statements and That The Savannah College of Art and Design has breached any collegiate standard as they attacked me as a student/employee/alumni all at the same time as they ripped me off creatively into the innovation department and continually rip off the Students of the Savannah College of Art and Design as of time of my Open Letter to The United Nations and prior. I defer on what I wrote then to what they may have adapted to now. I defer to my public statements to when they may have adapted further.

I now work in a restaurant and see food left over in trashcans and realize food waste is everywhere.

14. Trying New Recipes. Looks Like Soup Again.

I’ve decided with this series to go back to playing with my food to make things work. There is the idea of waste as a visual prop in my works to utilize as a metaphor of building an identity as an artist with the value of what I have at my disposal.

Within my waste for art sake there is commentary on the value had for each image. But also I have to tell myself it is also about utilizing the food we take for granted in a different kind of consumption. Now living on means that are definitely not what they once were for me, every shoot has been about 1 to 15 dollars to execute with some exceptions. All food chosen to be wasted have been deducted from my monthly food budget for a sake of art and statement.

After all, I am simply a starving artist trying to make it in the world.

15. Expanding Cookbook Based on Taste. An Experience in French Cooking Outside The French Quarter With An Italian Influence

Paris vacation was fun. What did you do while I was away?

I suppose hearing interaction in the office makes a difference. recorded keystrokes of computer. Transcribed phone calls. Possible acquaintances rejoicing things that may concern me or not. All things proven at one location before going to another where undeniably proven without a reasonable doubt. Never once factored in and the result was a cost on my life. When things escalated in the same department elsewhere later it hurt and even with the deletion of my life and files I knew it was personal. There is no “How can you take this back?” knowing you would have to reveal at least in that first company the disregard of privacy before going elsewhere. The SCAD thing…that is 100% on you. I respect the student as I am one and was working towards what I could one basement at a time. That learned behavior and partnership of compliance is 100% your discretion.

EPILOGUE: Enough To Feed An Army

Never had to sign a non-disclosure at Finished Art nor was asked. The same for Alfred Angelo. I was signed to sign some form of paperwork for my contract position in Atlanta that would have had to be routed though my contract company to be legal and standing. I requested a copy of my contract from my contract company prior to not have it sent to me which would be a breach of contract and non-binding as disclosure of copies was not provided. Non-Disclosure signed at PureRED that became null and void in whistleblowing circumstances that directly resulted in personal injury to myself and country. SCAD disclosure held to high regard and by subjectification of multiple clerical errors not at fault for 6/1/2019-6/2/2019. A letter to the United Nations states my case on the rest in that regard.

In no way against NDA’s and zero aspect of my employment history warrants breach of any areas of that without calling into question their own practices. I speak truth of experience that can only be grown from and if silenced comes from a place at this point of months or years of thinking they could get away with things in different realms. It is my belief best foot forward, but I contend that I’ve been forced to write about these particular life experiences based off of illegal/immoral activity and would be judged according for disclosing such knowing that 8 years of employment is in consideration, 3 years there before what was undisputed without reasonable doubt of what happened between my contract employment and now of 3/25/2022

A vow of silence from here? Written from necessity knowing what I have written and unusual circumstances call for it. Famous last words. I assume I’d have hiring people read things (definitely proof) before I wrote, but I wonder if this actually ends up being a “never going to happen again” scenario to what happened to me, would I ever have to worry about this again anyways?

If you are reading this now you are either fucked beyond belief or having the time of your life in the entertainment value of things on other sides. #neverknowwhoiswatching. #nightloves - 3/29/2022

3-years of knowing what happened and experienced in first hand accounts watching that unfold there and here. It is not PTSD in that regard. Or maybe it is. Not shared for the world to see but totally from your IP. Bosch was not fully aware and you knew what you were doing. Others stated their stance. The last day they knew what I went through internally. To drive other companies into this is not a reflection of me, but always a reflection of character on either side. I moved on with my life and you continued and “they came for him” (paraphrased?) “She saw it.”. Imagine trying to move on with your life in compassion to others and the minute there was an open door again they went for it. Those IPs bounce through Chicago before going back to Atlanta. “Welcome to Bosch.”

Maybe a strengthen of PTSD in a non-disability aspect of experience on your resume is nothing to the experience of your life. As you maneuvered every option you could think of, a myth of an octopus was well established prior. I am a friend to most and yes…I almost broke the system while you thought you could get away with it. You cannot cry fowl in this regard. -3/29/2022
#buildingbettersistems #bromentsofunderstanding #protectthefuture #empathy #notsoprivilaged #connectswellwithothers

It is my belief that I had to write this based off my experience that is very unique and not singular at the same time. This is me and this is not me at the same time professionally. After 2017 I sacrificed and from there came opportunity after opportunity from others to rip me apart slightly before hand and definitely after. I end my writings knowing I’ll finish this section completely and fairly. It is the least I can do on my own personal page. My story is other people’s commonality as well. I spent my adult life trying to help others and to teach empathy knowing it is not just sympathy. It is a look at us as people who have feelings and work our asses off trying to put food on the table knowing now what I know of how difficult others have made it for personal gain. Perhaps in trying to help others in personal gain, I ask you to look at what I’ve been trying to do with my life fairly knowing opportunity to break down existed. That will always be a part of “Starving Artist”. I help where I can in my breakdown of the 8 realms of discrimination knowing the 9th realm will always be about what is intimately shared and what you do with it. It is either a circle or a sphere. But my contribution to my psychological perspective to the Divine Comedy will be complete from here knowing I’ve tried my best and all I ever wanted to do was be accepted and afforded the opportunities others were allowed. We all want that and it will always be artists that shape history knowing “Art is everywhere”- Arthur Unknown 4/2/2022

More than happy to sign a NDA of mutual respect with any company knowing I work internally to solve any issues but this compounded issue from 2017 was not my fault and definitely severely escalated beyond myself and is about us. The irony now painted a way where I am not wanted but the work definitely was. In the effort of others trying to get things cheap, there is always a cost. What price was paid? -The End