Princess Leia

Last night I had the honor of playing pretend with my mother in a photo shoot. I chose Princess Leia for her a long time ago and I'm beyond humbled that she entertained my warped mind and went along with it. Today in a bit of irony we lost Carrie Fisher who was not only a princess but an incredibly interesting and brave individual. It hits home that the two are basically the same age. It humbles me in thoughts of cherishing our moments and it makes me love this shoot even more so that it's something that happened verses something I wish had happened.

Growing up Carrie Fisher is right up there with Sigourney Weaver for me. One of the first examples for me of cinema feminine strengths. One of the firsts of what beauty is supposed to be and someone, whom to me, formulated in my head a perception of a person to idolize. For all intents what I saw in them was all these things I saw and have in my mother. Growing up I always thought my mom looked like Princess Leia and she is the definition of what I view to be a perfect example of who to be as a person.

It was later on in life that I discovered Carrie Fisher the person. Tortured, pained...ultimately flawed in the eyes of some but I guess that's part of being human. There is no perfect standard to live by. There is no blind contract to stay nope....you are bound to the perfect image of your youth and the naivety that life won't throw you a curve ball or twelve. She approached a lot of her life candidly, openly, but most of all later in life...she never apologized for it. She laughed at it.

Carrie Fisher once said, "I don't want my life to imitate art, I want my life to be art." I think that is something we forget to think about with our lives. Our lives are beautifully flawed and beautifully ours at the same time. We censor our lives for others to make ourselves feel better about what others may think of us. We filter our images with a cheap ass insta-filter because it makes us feel better about showcasing ourselves with a blurred lens (PS you aint fooling anyone, its obvious when you do it). We hide our imperfections when they are the very things that make us perfect.

I preface that commentary before getting to the gist of this post...my mother. She is a pinnacle that I hold myself up to as a person. She is the definition of love and carelessness for her children. To me, she is Ripley going into the Alien hive. She is Leia leading the Rebellion. She's Linda Hamilton fighting Judgement Day. But she has always been the thing I admire most...real and honest. She's the woman who allowed me to share my flaws with her growing up while she shared her own with me. So many nights of sitting and drinking wine and just talking about life. Sometimes sad for what has happened. Sometimes just resting our heads on one another saying we have done it or are doing it. Growing up we picture our parents as perfect because we don't know the world. As I grow older I see my mother more beautiful than ever the Princess Leia I thought she to be when I was younger.

This pic is not perfect. It's not meant to be. I decided to turn off the strobes and play with natural light and manipulate from there. Part of what is and part of what I see. Studio shots will come in time. But I love that this image is part Princess Leia, Part Carrie Fisher, All mom. Part Humor. Part Seriousness. To me both Leia and my mother will always be royalty to me but my mother will always be the force that is always with me. But it's about going back and remembering just to smile and laugh at everything you have been through as you move forward. Love you mom and you will be missed Carrie Fisher.