I have a beginning and I have an end. It is hard to think how things intertwine and mix year after year without thinking about the fundamental aspects of how does one survive and is there support or not to help along the way. The answer is always yes despite the adversaries that we face.
I think of the last several days and cannot help but reflect on the weeks/months/years that come together to create identity and who we are and who we want to be. There is the day job and there was the school aspect. There is the personal life and there is the public aspect I share. We are all mixtures of comfortability and what is scary at times and brave in others. To walk in ignorance in any aspect of what I have written prior would be foolish of myself. I know what I have said and it is either a bottle lost to the sea or read and changed upon. Time will tell on that as I know where my heart is.
I question if it is narcissist to talk of self or explain self in this environment. To be heard or understood is fundamental to society and individuality so I don’t fret much on it as much as I try to stay true and grow connections and us together. At least here I own the content and approach myself on this stage knowing it will always be a “Get to know me if you take the time” as well as “Marco. Polo. Maybe I’ll be found and have another life.” “Commonality and understanding is always important in connection and opportunity.” At least on here I know protection enough to know that owning your words matter enough in your own “safe” space. I’ll always try to create a safe space in my artwork, in possible inventions and in places where being a voice to listen could save a life in the future knowing my own has been allowed to speak longer than expected.
A memory that popped up today on Facebook. “Last night u got the beginning. Tonight you get the ending. It's the in- between that u have to wait for.” (3-9-2021) “3-9's connect the soul.” (3-9-2022) - An Only Me post.
Above is an excerpt from my book that is not available for sale. It won’t be under these conditions and it protects as much as it transforms what can be. I self-published it out of understanding the situation of what was created after I made the decision to go from handwritten to designed. No internet. Time to grow. Time to be touched again if at all. That is what trauma and life experience does at times knowing there is so much more good in the world to balance out the things I went up against. Secretly I found strength internally while also being ripped apart .
I don’t talk much about my book because it is not self-promotion as much as it could be something that is interesting to areas of government, religion and science. It is both non-fiction and fiction and interesting to wrap an entire life and try to sum it up saying this is me trying to connect with U one way or another. I can talk of invasion of privacy but I have grown tired of it and accepted that things happened how they happened either by others accords and never by my consult or “behalf” knowing I’d be better off now than I was before. Evolution of course in thought, but as unemployed and documented accordingly, I’d say others ran their course.
I stepped away from A Divine Comedy when I went to school. I entertained the idea of my Heroes + Villains that were established in 2010-11. A Divine Comedy far longer knowing that any Divine Comedy is about perspective and personal experience. It is different for everyone and no reason to believe that the order changes per person and deities end up in other places…even Heaven if going to do so properly. That will never go away that Dante’s life was scholarly, but also at a sacrifice of becoming political and being banished from his beloved Florence to live a life most do not really know as they focus on Beatrice and Dante and the beauty of it in any regard that history tells of childhood love or a love he was never supposed to have as she was taken. The correct answer to any translation of Dante’s work would be “A Divine Comedy” knowing he wrote “The Divine Comedy” which became the number 2 most influential English written book outside of The Bible. I fear I’ve touched on both to expand message and compassion knowing both involve evolution of thought with no agenda but to bring us together in understanding.
I imagined, if ever an opening to a cinematic version, of “The Divine Comedy” that it starts with the COEXIST logo dangling like a Calder mobile with shadows cast upon it. Scissors enter the picture against a plain background. Originally white in thought but admire the grey of neutral thought and territory.
(All strings cut at once)
They fall off the screen and the camera moves with it. They embed in the sand and dirt. Light turns to darkness and the symbols are left to form their identity or be lost and never discovered.
Some hidden and some left half seen. Placement important as weight of gravity takes over with winds covering as time passes on.
A hand picks up something from the dirt not knowing what it is.
(Night time) (Internal thought)
Midway through my(a) life I grab something I do not understand and carry it with me lucky I have found something I know nothing about what it represents.
(Darkness of into the blue of wooded areas before wolves and gates exist.)
I imagine this project to be global to properly portray any version of “A Divine Comedy” but to tackle any modern version of “The Divine Comedy” that would be an interesting start.
I’ve walked in the footsteps and shadows of the greats and have approached myself in trying to understand psychology and artist intention. To me, that scene is where I am at in my life and perhaps where I was 3-5 years ago. Just my interpretation but also a world cinema effort if ever to tackle such a feat knowing Dante was biased and still deferred to the greats of his time and before to complete his version of Heaven. Even Virgil and Beatrice eventually said, “You are on your own on this one.”
I’d love to talk to Italy one day about “The Divine Comedy” on the aspect of Beatrice and Dante knowing I have empathy for both. Artist and inspiration rights questions exist on both on what is proper and what is best for either side. I am both Beatrice and Dante in exploration only but never will place anyone in any circle/mountain or sphere.
As cursed out words heard in Rome echoed through the streets, the Vatican was an ear-shot away from where things played out in my contributions to society. That one is protected and true in what it represents knowing I was attacked on that front multiple times while finalizing my version of psychological interpretations based on Dante’s work. I confessed now knowing how amazing my self-discovery was then and what came after in people’s decisions. Big topics of evolution of thought to go from “Alice in Wonderland” as a child to “Through the Looking Glass” of “The Divine Comedy”. That is over 30 years of work knowing perhaps longer in the regard of my recollection of 2-3 years of age.
Where I ended up with in my Masters was the concept of “Starving Artist” while I was in school with lack of means and funds to execute it properly but also the point of what creativity spins when left to the imagination. Work with a budget. Cite exploitation and where others are lacking because of other means. Where can that change occur? Where can the positive difference be made? Even today I coined “foodsplotation” in a cover letter to find a job now unemployed and out of school. A term like that and a concept in the way I presented it only comes from experience that others can connect to and empathize with on where we go from here. It is not perfect, but it resonates that the secret is in the sauce of experience to admired or discounted. Passion will always exist in my work.
I thought of that in perspective opportunities and “I work well with others”. In or Out, I try to have others not have the same experience as myself or perhaps maybe the lesson is let yourself be free and see who admires you for you. There is always the technical critique and there is always the message behind it. That is what mentorship is and that is what nurturing is.
COVID changed my school experience but it was always my intention of working with my own earned equipment and work within the means of what is afforded of a low-income budget at my age and from where I’ve been in the past. School will never own my work nor do I think they would ever try as they could only promote anyways and never profit. Commonality of previous posts knows my heart is with all the artists of the world and seeing where things have fallen and where things need to be changed.
I ask myself and you the same question, “What piece of the mobile are you going to pick up?” I’ve picked up so many pieces to know that together there is a solution but I have to pick and choose as one person is incapable of so much alone. Big ideas and concepts are broken or made by others.
As it is now I am a starving artist. Have been most of my life. I photograph now or document with my EBT card to express the humility of where I am and where I have been before knowing that “we keep on keeping on” one way or another. Would love to talk and understand why I stay guarded as well. From one country to a next there is always class and there is always perseverance. Artists always write history and showcase time. Visually through words, expression or through metaphor. We are all artists in a way that we have to learn our expressions to one another always leaves the door open for interpretation of others.
As I search to reach out this is one starving artist to another from either “Been there before…” or “How can we help each other?”
The secret is in the sauce.
A proof of ownership from a Starving Artist. A calling card of humility knowing where it was birthed from and what it could represent globally from so many different perspectives. “What’s On Your Plate?”
Copyright Philip Bonneau. Protected and forced on Social Media as only 2 of my 9 pieces exist in public forum. Downgraded but it is my hope you cite, contact or help. To steal is on your conscious and regardless if we meet or not in book form or on this page. We are all connected more than you know.
I’ve gone through and made sure everything is spelled correctly. I write how I speak and it takes a minute to get used to. Grammar is important and so is my unique writing style. Do not alter a personal website as other platforms have been called into question. Never have I modified a blog post after posting it on this site. I understand the downfall of where I could grow uniformly and where I choose to use my voice. Both points are valid in established artist/author who still always adapts to other brands and people while building my own. #8 calls into question platform where I still retain I work well with others.